Zane's Erotica Noir eMonthly

January 2001

BlackGentlemen.com has gone live.  Come on over and visit my new site at http://www.blackgentlemen.com  I am still looking for bachelors as well as for positive African-American males to showcase on BlackGentlemen.com.  Please spread the word about the site.  If you would like to join the mailing list for BlackGentlemen.com, please send a blank email to BlackGentlemen-subscribe@topica.com 

ZANE'S EROTICA NOIR: THE ANTHOLOGIES

I am seeking submissions from both MALES and FEMALES for an African-American erotica anthology series I will be editing.  Please send your poems and/or stories to me at zane@eroticanoir.com

You can also mail the hard copy (preferred) to:

Zane, c/o Strebor Books International LLC, Post Office Box 10127, Silver Spring, MD 20914.

I am looking for the unusual.  Don't assume I won't publish your work until you hear it from me.  It is time for the African-American sexual revolution.  I said that a long time ago.  Now it amuses me that a lot of the top publishing houses are scrambling to get in on Black Erotica.  Well, my anthologies will be unlike any other.  I am not going to say why because someone might steal my ideas, but it will.  

Like all anthologies, payment will run about $100 per story and $25 per poem.  This is about getting exposure for your writing, not unlike the Features Section on EroticaNoir.com.

JOKES

1. A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

2. This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".

3. A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

4. A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentile, I'm still a virgin." The husband being shocked, replied, "How's this possible? You've been married three times before." The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychiatrist and all he wanted to do was talk about it. Finally, my third husband was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was...oh, do I miss him!"

5. On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

6. Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

7. A blind man interviews for a job as a quality controller at the local wood mill. The manager calls the blind man into his office and asks him how he expected to do this job since he was blind. The blind man replied he would do it by smell. The manager decides to test him and places a piece of wood in front of him. The manager asks, "What is it without touching it?" The blind man replies, "That’s a good piece of fir." "Correct,” says the manager, “now try this one." "That’s a bad piece of willow," says the blind man. "Correct," answers the manager.

With that, the manager decides to play a trick on the blind man. He get his secretary to lift up her dress and put her crotch in the blind mans face. "I'm confused,” says the blind man, “Can you turn it around?" The secretary turns around and puts her ass in his face. The blind man says, "Oh, you’re trying to fool me! But I know exactly what kind of wood that is. It’s the shit house door off a tuna boat!"
(SORRY, I HAD TO GO THERE-LOL)

8. Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

9. Wife : "I dreamt they were auctioning off dicks. The big ones went for ten dollars and the thick ones went for twenty dollars."

Husband : "How about the ones like mine?"

Wife : "Those they gave away."

Husband : "I had a dream too...I dreamt they were auctioning off cunts. The pretty ones went for a thousand dollars, and the little tight ones went for two thousand."

Wife : "And how much for the ones like mine?"

Husband : "That's where they held the auction."

10. A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!"


Masturbation Tips for Women:

One of the most common questions I get is about female masturbation. While surfing the web and talking to some of my sexually-liberated friends, I came across some interesting suggestions. Some of them I would try, some of them I have already done, and some I think I would definitely pass on. However, I thought it would be interesting to include them in this month's ezine.

1. Position yourself in front of a mirror and watch yourself rubbing your clit in the mirror. Spread your legs as far apart as they will go and finger yourself to see how much watching enhances the experience. For an added bonus, video tape yourself doing it and show the tape to your man. For an extra, extra added bonus, let him do the videotaping.

2. Use a traveling toothbrush holder in the bathtub since most vibrators are not water-resistant. The warm water will only make it better. 

3. Take a wet, warm washcloth and put Vaseline on it, stroking it back and forth over your clit gently.

4. Use a vibrating controller from a Playstation. Use the vibration test in the options menu and insert the edge of the controller into your pussy or let it vibrate on your clit.

5. Use an electric toothbrush, which is pretty self-explanatory.

6. Put a condom on the handle of a hairbrush, get in the tub and leave the water running so that it pulsates down on your clit. 

7. Riding pillows or teddy bears or humping the end of a mattress.

8. If you have a swimming pool, stand in front of the jets and let it pulsate the water against your pussy until you cum. (I will openly confess to having done this one several times and it works-LOL)

9. Watch a porno flick and masturbate. 

10. Fill an empty shampoo bottle with warm water and squirt it on your clit. 

11. Tease yourself with a dildo, putting the head in and out several times before finally sticking it all the way in and going for it.

12. Buy a mini-vibrator and use it at your office. The batteries will last up to six hours and your co-workers will be envious of your great attitude.

13. Put a pillow on a chair. Place a Venus butterfly or another battery-operated toy on the pillow. Straddle the chair so that you can hold on to the back and lower yourself onto your vibrator so that it touches your clit. Turn on your vibrator and move back and forth. 

14. Sit on the washing machine during the rinse cycle. Man, oh man. :-)

15. Use a dildo and a vibrator at the same time. First you start with a little lotion and the dildo. Put the lotion on the dildo and gently insert into your pussy. Then when you start getting really hot, you grab the vibrator and start rubbing your clitoris with it. Try climaxing as many times as you can, the more the better.

16. In the shower, get a cucumber or any other long cylindrical object, and stick it inside you (you probably should put a condom on it first). Take your massaging shower head, put it on the shiatsu setting, aim it at your clit and enjoy! For the best results, squeeze and then relax your legs to increase the tension.

17. Do you know those dizzy doodler pens that vibrate and make those squiggly lines?? Well all you do is take one of them and use the end that is flat. Turn it on and you will be cumming in seconds. This is a clean and easy way. You can even travel with it!

18. Using a dildo or other object, pretend your toy is a shovel and you are softly digging. With a forward, gliding motion, slide the toy down to your clit, across it and then upward, removing it from your body completely. Repeat over and over and over until you drive yourself crazy.

GROCERY GETTIN' BY ECUTIEPIE

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

"Yester-me, yester-you, yester-daaa-aaa-aay," singing along with Stevie Wonder, I swung into the parking lot of Albertsons. Gene left a message saying that when he got back to New Orleans tonight, he wanted to go out for surf ‘n turf. After a day of unsuccessfully trying to adjust to my new work schedule, the last thing I felt like doing was getting dressed, driving across town, waiting for a table, and then waiting for our food.

Instead, I decided to stop at Albertsons on my way home. Gene would get his surf ‘n turf wish fulfilled but it would be served for much cheaper and in the comfort of my own home.

Temporarily telling Stevie goodbye, I turned off the ignition and got out of the car. The university had recently adopted a dressy casual policy for faculty and although I was comfortable, I was hot! My khakis stuck to my thighs as the late afternoon heat engulfed the city.

Walking into the welcoming, artificial coolness of the supermarket, I dropped my purse into a basket and lifelessly pushed it towards the meat department. Stopping in front of the beef cooler, I picked and choose over the New York strips. Finding a suitable pair for a decent price, I tossed them into the basket. Moving on to the seafood department, I planned on quickly picking up two lobsters and hurrying back home.

Gene and I had only been seeing each other for two weeks but I had already grown weary of his finicky appetite. The only things he seemed to like were either things that I detested or hated to prepare. For years I’d watched my mother, her mother, and my great granny cook everything from quiche to consomme’ and from pig’s feet to portobellas. There was no doubt that I knew my way around the kitchen, but Gene found flaws in everything that I set in front of him. Jokingly, I sometimes wondered to myself if he found my pussy to be bland and undercooked when he ate it.

Giggling to myself, I stopped in front of the lobster tank. Bending down, I tried to spot two that looked large enough for me to pay nine dollars a pound for.

"Let me have him, him, and her," a smooth male voice on the other side of the tank was saying. "I’m going to grill the tails so I need really plump ones."

Smiling like a man who was satisfied with himself, he watched as the clerk used tongs to extract three lobsters from the tank. He was dark brown, tall, and lanky. A little too small for my tastes but his smile was intriguing the hell out of me.

"Did I take the ones you wanted?" he asked, his voice thick with amusement.

"No. I am going to take these two," I said as I motioned towards a pair that were playfully clawing at each other.

"Just checking. I have the habit of taking what I want," he said in a voice filled with innuendo. Eyeing me openly, he slowly ran his tongue along his top lip.

"Is that so?" I asked, playing along. "How can you take what is being given to you willingly?"

"Well, sometimes people insist that they want to give it to me but they renege and I wind up having to take it."

His words oozed out with a strong, lascivious force. The icy cold air of the supermarket caused my nipples to strain against the fabric of my bra and my black cotton blouse. Aiming his gaze directly at them, he again gave his lips a slow lick.

"Are you a giver? Or do you prefer to be taken?" he drawled.

Embarrassed, the seafood clerk slinked away to weigh and wrap his lobsters.

"Well," I began thoughtfully, my eyes wide and full of innocence. "I never give and refuse to be taken."

"Oh yeah? Is that so?" he replied jauntily as the clerk handed him the wrapped lobsters. "Write down a way that I can get in contact with you and I’ll teach you the rules of give and take."

Scribbling down my name and number on a receipt that I extracted from my purse, I handed it over to him. Reading it, he smiled.

"Okay Miss Adu. I look forward to taking," he said saucily before walking away.

Turning towards the waiting clerk who had a silly smile on his face, I pointed impatiently to the two I wanted.

"I’ll take those two," I indicated right before he burst out laughing.

Closing the oven, I reached for the pan on the stove and poured the clarified butter into two ceramic cups.

"It doesn’t look separated enough," Gene said from his perch at the bar.

"I’ve seen and done this a million times...it’s separated enough," I retorted with a bit of an edge.

Shrugging his shoulders, he went back to reading the Times-Picayune. Ever since he arrived, he picked at my nerves. It was wonderful having a man present in my bed and to curb my loneliness but Gene had something to say about everything. In his eyes, he was an expert at everything. He’d already made comments about the type of foundation I used on my face, the way I wrapped the foil around the potatoes before I put them in the oven, and the way I was grilling the steaks. Taking the lobster tails out of the steam tray, I decided that I was simply going to agree with everything he said. Hopefully, my humbleness would get on his nerves and he would see how it felt to be aggravated.

Opening the oven, I tested the baked potatoes with a fork. Taking them out, I set them on plates along with he steak and lobster tails.. Bringing them over to the table I walked back to the refrigerator and brought out the condiments. Sitting down, I bowed my head in prayer before digging in. Dipping a chunk of the lobster tail into the "not separated enough" clarified butter. It was delicious. Cutting off a small piece of the steak, I popped it into my mouth and savored the taste as it melted away. I had really outdone myself!

Looking across the table at Gene, I saw from his facial expression that he was enjoying the food. But I also knew that in a second or two, he would find fault with something. He wanted fucking surf ‘n turf and I made it to the best of my ability.

Still, not good enough for him. To test him, I silently began to count. One. Two. Three. Four. Fi-

"If you would’ve wet the potatoes and made a slit in the foil, they would’ve baked easier and been moist," he said, scraping some of the flesh from the skin.

I knew it! I didn’t even get to complete the count of five and he was complaining. What really burned me was the fact that he had yet to stop chewing. He was handsome and educated but he had such an immature, small mind.

"So, which courses are teaching this semester? I’m scheduled to instruct an African American lit class that you would be great at teaching," I said brightly, changing the subject to something that would allow peace between us. "Can you believe the semester begins in just a few days?" Putting down my wineglass, I braced myself to listen to yet another of Gene’s antic stories about his job. Oh well, no one can ever call me a lousy listener......

The shrill ring of the telephone shook me from my soft field of sleep. Beside me, Gene snored lightly and wasn’t awakened by the ringing.

"Hello?" I queried sleepily.

"My, don’t we turn in early," a male voice joked.

Looking at the alarm clock, I saw the face read 10:30. Gene and I had come upstairs after dinner and I had been disappointed to learn that instead of sex, he merely wanted to sleep. I still had on my day clothes but felt like it was morning.

"Sometimes we do. Who is this?" I asked.

"This is Larron....you met me earlier at Albertsons."

"Oh!" Sitting up, I walked with the phone into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. "How are you?"

"I’m fine. Didn’t think I was gonna call, did you?" he asked with a laugh.

"I knew you were going to call sooner or later. I think I left a lasting impression on you."

"Confident aren’t we, Miss Adu?" he said.

"Sure, I am. So to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go for a ride."

"Well.," I hesitated, peeping out of the bathroom door at Gene’s sleeping form. "Why not?"

Laughing like the cat who swallowed the canary and a double serving of cream, he gave me directions to his house which was only an exit away from mine. Hanging up the phone, I padded lightly back into the bedroom and took off the jeans and tank top that I’d fallen asleep in and put on a simple cotton shift. Slipping my feet into black slides, I grabbed my keys and tiptoed downstairs and out of the house.

"So how long have you been on the air?" I asked Larron as he sped over the Crescent City connection.

"I’ve been in radio about six years altogether but I started out in production. I’ve been a deejay for about eleven years but I’ve been doing it on the air for the past two," he answered.

"Okay. I’ve never listened to WKJI. What genre of music does it feature?"

Looking at me with a deliciously crooked grin, he let a throaty laugh escape his lips. "At WKJI, we feature gospel and spiritual."

"Well alrighty then!" I answered, turning straight in my seat and looking out the front windshield. Goodness, I needed to change the subject. Here I was, at 11 o’clock wearing a dress and no panties, riding with a gospel music deejay. "So how long have you had this car?"

"Only about six months," he answered.

"Snazzy," I said as I sniffed the leather of his Montreal blue BMW Z-3 convertible.

"It is if I must say so myself," he answered, smiling at the compliment I’d just given his car. "Can you drive a stick?"

"Sure I can," I replied eagerly.

"Shit. that’s usually the excuse I use for not letting anyone else drive. Most women don’t. Wanna give her a run?" he asked me.

"Hell yeah!"

Exiting off the expressway, he drove until we approached a hospital parking tower, shifting gears, he drove up the winding tower until we reached the twelfth level. Turning the car around, he pulled up the park brake and got out of the drivers seat. Getting up to take the wheel, my dress was rumpled around my hips, giving him a clear peep of my pussy and ass. Quickly pulling it down, I knew the impression had been made.

"Why a parking tower?" I asked, hoping he wouldn’t soon forget about the sight I just treated him to.

"I figured we could start here just in case you aren’t good at driving a stick," he said in the same lascivious tone that he’s used at the supermarket. "On second thought, maybe I should drive?"

Immediately kicking into bad girl mode, I lifted the hem of my shift up so he could see my hairy pussy.

"Why don’t we both drive," I asked.

"Now how on Earth can we both drive?" he questioned.

"Watch," I answered, walking over to the driver’ side.

Bending down, I moved the seat as far back as it could go. Motioning for him to sit down, I moved his zipper down and reached over him to my purse. Taking out a Trojan, I pulled out his already stiff cock and rolled the rubber down over it. With my back towards his almost laying body, I lowered myself onto his dick. Shutting the door, I pulled up the park brake. Shifting the car into first gear, I slowly drove the car down the first ramp while I rode his big, hard dick. Hearing him moan from his position under me turned me on so much that I hit the gas and shifted straight into third. After letting go of the clutch, I began hopping up and down on his dick while turning down onto the eleventh level. Squeezing down on his dick with my wet pussy muscles, my mind raced with excitement. Trying to navigate the sharp, downward turns of the garage while fucking his brains out was very interesting. By the time we reached the third level, the car was in overdrive and so was my body. Speeding down the curves of the tower, I about to have one of the biggest orgasms of my life.

"Don’t wreck my car. Oh shit baby, please don’t wreck my car. Oh yeah girl, fuck me. Fuck the shit out of me," he mumbled as he brought his hips up to meet my wet and rotating pussy.

Flying down the ramp of the second level, two nurses who had just gotten off duty stopped in their tracks and gave us curious looks while I used one hand to steer and one to shift. While I drove and fucked, Larron’s arms reached around me, his hands busy rubbing my nipples. My dress was hiked up over my tits and I was bouncing up and down on Larron’s juicy dick. Banging my first on the horn, I greeted the shocked nurses as I came closer and closer to exploding. Sailing down to the first level, I pressed my left foot on the clutch and used my right hand to throw the shift into neutral. Letting the car roll down onto slid ground, I bucked away as I felt myself coming, my pussy muscles contracting and squeezing every drop of come from Larron’s dick. Hearing him shout out in ecstasy, my mind exploded with a million colors. Steering the now slow-moving car into a parking space, I tapped the brake lightly to get it to stop. Lifting myself slowly off Larron’s dick as he held the spent rubber into place, I opened the door and stepped out of the car onto my wobbly legs. Standing in the parking lot, I pulled my dress down to cover my breasts and then my hips and my behind. Looking up across the bottom parking level, I noticed three maintenance men staring at me with unmasked curiosity. Smiling and giving them a thumbs up sign, I walked over to the passenger side and got in.

Looking over at Larron, who was breathing heavier than a horse and hanging his head over the side of the headrest, I couldn’t help but smiling. He looked absolutely drained. Reaching over to rub his knees, I let out a light laugh. I am going to have to get groceries more often. Where else can I find more excitement?

"You must take me driving again! I found give and take to be very interesting," I said with my voice full of energy.

Looking at me and baffled about why I still had energy, a frown spread over Larron’s face.

"Girl, you put something awful on me. But ummm....yeah. We can go driving again very soon." Tossing the used rubber out onto the ground, he zipped up his pants and sped away towards my house.

Taking off my slides, I tip-toed back upstairs. Gene’s car was still parked on the other side of the garage. Pushing open the bedroom door, I fumbled in the dark to my closer and tossed my shoes inside. Placing my keys down on the dresser, I was about to step into the bathroom for a quick shower before bed when the lights flew on. Gene was sitting, fully dressed on the edge of the bed.

"Do you always go gallivanting into the night when your tricks call," he said in a rough tone.

"You don’t know where I’ve been. I could’ve gone out for a pint of ice cream."

"Is that why you smell like the whore of Babylon?"

"Look Gene, I am not going to argue with you, especially not in my house," I said as I snapped on the bathroom light and took off my shift.

"Look, if you wanted to fuck so bad, why didn’t you just wake me up?" he said, walking in the bathroom behind me.

"Gene, I didn’t go and fuck anyone. I had an envie for a shake so I went to Rally’s. That’s it," I said, turning to look at him with tears forming in my eyes. Gee, I sure hope this works....I though.

"I believe you. Don’t cry Adu. I believe you," he said as I began to bawl.

I deserve an Emmy, I thought as Gene dropped to his knees in front of me and began to lick away the traces of Larron from my pussy.

Do I really want someone that pretends to be tough on the outside but is actually this soft? I thought as I watched him get busy with his task. Shaking my head and letting out a sigh, I decided Gene would do....for a while at least.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TOUCH IT?  BY ZANE

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

"Keisha, I need to run out for a few minutes!" Rapheal exclaimed, almost tackling me like a linebacker for the 49ers before the tip of my acrylic nail could make contact with his doorbell.

I glanced down at my watch. It was ten minutes to three. "Rapheal, I thought you said the shoot was at three?" I asked, smacking my lips.

"It is at three. It was rather." I watched him toss a leather portfolio in the passenger seat of his gray Z3 convertible. "I have an emergency," he added as he ran around to the driver’s side, swung the door open, and hopped in. "A corporate client is demanding to see these proofs right away or I might lose the business."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I asked sarcastically, throwing a hand on my hip and working my head from side to side. I was disgusted and not even trying to fake the funk. It had taken me almost two hours to get up to his loft in Del Mar, it was hot as hell outside and I had to drive my roommate’s hoopty aka Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because my own rinky-dink piece of shit was in the shop getting a new tailpipe.

Rapheal flashed me one of his cinematic smiles while he revved up the engine. Fine or not, I was pissed and his good looks weren’t going to work magic on me that day. "The other girl is already up in the loft. You two keep each other company until I get back."

"Keep each other company doing what?" I inquired.

"Whatever!" he hollered and then pulled off, almost side-swiping a delivery van that was headed in the opposite direction.

"SHIT!" I couldn’t believe Rapheal’s skank ass. It was bad enough I let him talk me into doing this low-paying photo spread in the first place but he had the audacity to leave me hanging like that after all I went through to get there. I stomped up the steps to his loft, changing my mind back and forth 50-11 times on the way up. I started to just turn around, get back in Chitty and take my ass home. Then again, low pay or not, I needed the exposure.

It had been two years since I left Boise, Idaho for California to pursue my dream of becoming a model/actress. Instead, all I had become was a cocktail waitress/exotic dancer. If something didn’t break for me soon, I was going to have to head back to Idaho and take up where I left off; stuffing russet potatoes into cellophane bags at dirty-old Mr. Wilson’s factory. He was such a pervert. Always trying to feel up some damn body.

Then there were my parents. In particular, my mother who swore if I walked out of her house, I better not ever come back. My sister called me two weeks after I left and told me that I no longer had a bedroom. My mother turned it into a sewing room and donated all of my belongings to the church flea market. No, I was going to wait for Rapheal and do the shoot. No way was I groveling back to Idaho.

Once I got to the top of the steps, I almost fell back down them when I caught a glimpse of the other model. She was sitting on Rapheal’s black leather sectional drinking a glass of wine and flipping through a photo album. She looked so exotic. Long, flowing reddish brown wavy hair, smooth caramel skin, deeply-set sienna eyes and full, luscious lips. I figured she must have been from Paris or maybe an island in the Caribbean and had a flamboyant name like Genevieve or Dominique or something like that.

She spotted me and gave me a warm smile. Before I could even say hello, I just had to know, "Where are you from? Paris or Rome or some place like that?"

"Chile, please!" she exclaimed in the most countrified accent I have ever heard. "I’m from Lexington, Kentucky!"

I couldn’t help but fall out laughing. She reminded me of the people I used to watch on Saturday morning on Hee Haw. How could someone who looked so spectacular be such a country bumpkin?

She shut the book and got up off the couch so she could meet me halfway across the loft to shake my hand. She had on this revealing spaghetti strap sheath making me look extremely underdressed in my jean shorts and my "I wasn’t born a bitch. Men made me this way!" t-shirt.

"I’m Betty," she announced. So much for Genevieve or Dominique. "And you are?"

"Keisha," I replied, feeling a little more at ease, even though I was alone with a stranger. I had met some very, how shall I put it, freaky people during my short stint as a model/actress/cocktail waitress/exotic dancer. Betty seemed like she was cool peeps though so I decided to keep it real. "So, how ‘bout that Rapheal bastard bouncing on us like that?"

"Rapheal’s a trip. I don’t even know why I deal with him," Betty stated with disdain.

"That makes two of us," I concurred.

I dropped my duffel bag on the carpet, plopped down on the couch, and threw my feet up on his marble coffee table. Etiquette went out the damn window. "Do you even know what this shoot is about? He didn’t tell me much when he called me the other day. Just that he wanted me to get here on time or else."

"I’m not sure. I think it’s for one of those nudie magazines. Black Tail or something."

"Say what!" I exclaimed, sitting up on the edge of my seat less than five seconds after I had gotten perfectly situated. "You mean we’re supposed to be taking coochie pics?"

"Coochie pics," Betty chuckled. "That’s cute. I’ll have to remember that one."

"So are we?"

"Are we what?’

"Taking coochie pics?" I reiterated.

"Oh, come on!" she squealed, throwing her hands on her hips and walking over to the wet bar to pour me a glass of wine I never even asked for. "Don’t tell me you’ve never posed nude before! Aren’t you a stripper just like me? Rapheal said you were."

"Yeah, I’m a stripper. I dance down at the Black Rose."

"Oh," she sighed, handing me the wine and looking down her aquiline nose at me. "That’s a trashy joint. I danced there for a couple of weeks when I first hit Cali."

She made me feel like something off the bottom of her shoe. I knew it was trashy. She didn’t even have to rub the shit in. "So where do you dance now?"

"Chile, I’m at Paradise," she boasted in her country accent. "Them men up in that joint tip big time."

"So I hear," I mumbled. "I auditioned at Paradise once. They threw me and my itty bitty tities right back out the door."

Betty made no comment. There was none to make. Anyone could see that her 40DDD’s put my 34B’s to shame. Even a man who was blind in one eye and couldn’t see a damn thing out the other one. My breasts looked like thumbtacks compared to hers.

She must have known I felt "shamed" because she finally said, "I wouldn’t sweat that. Look at you. You’re gorgeous!"

She sat down so close beside me that her knee was rubbing up against my thigh. "You never answered my question."

"What question?" It had honestly slipped my mind somewhere between our skin making contact and her rubbing her index finger around the tip of her wine glass like she was fingering a nipple.

"Have you ever posed for nude pics before?"

"Not really," I hesitated, not sure whether the naked pics my two cousins and I took one 4th of July behind my grandparents barn would qualify. "I have no problem being naked though," I added, trying to save some face. "That’s obvious. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be dancing."

"True. So why are you acting so nervous then?"

"I’m not nervous. It’s just that dancing in a club and posing in magazines are two different things. Out here in California, I don’t have to worry about being recognized. Nobody in my family ever leaves Idaho, but what if my daddy spots my ass up in a magazine? I would never be able to live that shit down!"

"Oh, does your daddy jack off to skin mags?"

The mere thought of that made me want to hurl. Then I realized that my daddy would never get off on nudie magazines. Hell, I remember eavesdropping through the paper thin bedroom walls and hearing my mother practically beg him for a little nookie nookie. "No, my daddy doesn’t but I’m not too sure about some of his friends and a couple of my uncles on my mother’s side."

"I hear you." Betty took her red high heel pumps off and I noticed her toenails were painted the same color as mine. At least we had something in common. "Well, my daddy did see me when I did the cover of this boobs mag."

I was shocked. My mouth fell wide open. "You’re kidding? I would have died. What did he say to you?"

1 Betty grinned at me. "All he did was call me up and tell me that he didn’t know I had gotten a boob job. He wanted to know the name of my doctor so he could make an appointment for my mother."

We both fell out laughing. I don’t know when I finished the entire glass of wine but my glass was empty and I was feeling a little buzz.

"You mean you have fake tits?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah," she replied, looking down her own dress at the top of her mounds. "Everybody’s doing it these days. You should get some."

"Naw, I don’t think so," I said, shaking my head. I was curious though so I asked, "Can you still feel anything? I mean when men are sucking on them?"

"Sure, I can feel it when men suck on them." She reached out and started caressing my hand. "Of course, I get even more stimulation when a woman sucks on them."

Oh shit, she was coming on to me! I jumped off of the couch and went to the wet bar to get some more wine. Hell, I needed the whole bottle. Not because she was coming on to me. It happened all the time down at the club. A lot of the dancers went both ways. I guess seeing other women shake their booty in front of you day and night can do that. I had never been attracted to any of them though. I admired some of their beauty but never attracted. Not until Betty and that was making me sweat.

Before I could turn around to head back to the couch with the wine, I felt her right hand reach around my waist and land on my belly button. "You’ve never been with a woman before, have you?"

"No," I quickly replied, taking a huge amount of wine in my mouth and swallowing hard. "I get the impression you have been though."

"Just my roommate, Dominique. She’s a model too." Betty starting sucking on my earlobe and I could feel my love coming down in my panties. I had to hold in a giggle. I knew there had to be a Dominique in there somewhere. "She and I have done it a few times."

Fleeting thoughts of my own roommate, Shontai, rushed through my head. I couldn’t even picture doing such a thing. What would I say to her? "Hey Shontai, want to go get a manicure, do some grocery shopping and then come back to the crib and suck on each other’s coochie coos?" Now picture that for a Saturday afternoon!

"You never answered my question," Betty cooed in my ear, letting her other hand explore my ass cheeks.

"Damn, you sure have a lot of questions!" I polished off my second glass of wine and then started drinking straight out of the bottle.

"And you sure know how to avoid them," she came back at me with sarcasm.

After that, we both got quiet. I was wondering if I actually had the guts to experiment with another woman and I have no clue what she was wondering. All I know is it was so quiet in there, you could have heard a mouse pissing on a cotton ball.

She took the bottle out of my hand and sat it back down on the wet bar. Then she grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the middle of the floor. "Let’s dance."

"I don’t hear any music," I said, stating the obvious.

She let go of my hand and went over to Rapheal’s bookshelf system and started flipping through his CD collection. A couple of minutes later, some smooth reggae started emitting from the speakers, ricocheting off the high ceiling and falling onto my ears. I was so used to dancing, I couldn’t help but get into the groove and the alcohol didn’t hurt.

I started gyrating my hips to the music and Betty joined me, putting her arms around my waist and drawing me into her until our legs were intertwining as we bent our knees went up and down to the music. Our pelvises met and rubbed against each other. So that’s what they mean by "bumpin’ coochies".

She was tall, probably close to 5’10". Even in my three inch heels, we were looking each other dead in the eye and what mesmerizing eyes she had.

Then she just blurted it out. "I love itty bitty tities."

I didn’t reply. I just drew back a few inches, just far enough so that I could pull my t-shirt up and off. I wanted to find out just how much she loved them. It didn’t take long to find out.

She seductively started rubbing my nipples in between her thumbs and forefingers. My nipples were hard enough to cut diamonds. She knelt down so she could suck one of them into her mouth and tickle it with the tip of her tongue. I shut my eyes and ran my fingers through her long, wavy hair while she partook of my black pearl.

By the time the first song ended, I was laying on the couch and Betty was pulling my jean shorts off with her teeth. She expertly repeated the task with my white satin panties. I massaged my own breasts while she started in on my clit, licking it up and down and then spreading my pussy lips open with her fingers so she could get to it better.

She was gentle with my pussy. Much more than any man had been. She moaned and oohed and aahed, telling me how sweet I tasted. All I could do was stare at the designer moldings on the ceiling and try to prevent my body from having spasms. Yes, her oral sex was that damn good!

In fact, it was so impetuous that I let her devour me for close to an hour. Rapheal still hadn’t reared his inconsiderate head and frankly, I didn’t care if he ever did at that point in time.

Betty knew how to work magic with her fingers too. Every time one of her acrylic nails would slide in and out of me, locating and causing friction against my g-spot, my pussy walls would shudder and try to clamp onto her fingers like a vise. The same way I would contract my pussy muscles on a man’s dick. And every time I climaxed, my curiosity grew tenfold imagining what it would be like to return the favor to her.

Whenever I asked one of my lovers what my pussy tasted like, he would reply "like chicken" or "like peaches" or some other corny line. I never actually believed that but suddenly I had a craving to find out for myself.

I finally worked up some schutzpa and went for it. "When do I get a turn?"

Betty suckled on my clit one last time, gently nibbling on it with her teeth and then raised her head from between my legs. I could see my juices smothering her lips and trickling down out the sides of her mouth. That was such a massive turn on.

"Do you really want to touch it?" she asked of me.

I hesitated for a brief moment and replied, "I want to do more than that!"

That was all she wrote. We retired to Rapheal’s bedroom like we lived there and things. It was like a scene from an old romantic black and white movie, walking off into the bedroom to finish the feelings. The only difference was we both had innies instead of outies. And what a nice, delicious, scrumptious innie Betty had.

I helped her out of her dress and then sucked her breasts. It was such a strange and wicked feeling but I loved it from jump street; having my mouth bursting at the seams with the meat of another woman.

Then I went down on her, ate her, found her g-spot and maneuvered my fingers inside her body until she came all over them. She didn’t taste like peaches or chicken exactly but she did taste good.

So good that we continued our little afternoon escapade in the shower. Steam was rising all over our bodies and we took turns washing each other’s private parts with vanilla bath gel and a loofah sponge. Betty told me to prop my right leg up on the side of the tub and I eagerly complied. There she took me to a height of passion I had never experienced before that day. That’s when I knew I had been messing out on something special.

Don’t get me wrong! I love dick! There’s nothing like deep-throating a big, juicy dick but eating pussy is running a close second in my book these days.

Rapheal finally showed up around seven and caught us getting freaky in his shower. Neither Betty nor I was willing to stop what we were doing so we asked him if he wanted to watch.

He shouted, "Now that’s what I’m talking about!"

He sat down on the closed toilet seat and took it all in. After a few minutes of watching us suck all over each other, he couldn’t take it, whipped his dick out and started jacking off.

I always thought Rapheal was fine. Seeing him there with his massive dick in his hand made me want him. So, while Betty was going to town on my pussy, I reached over and started rubbing my right hand up and down his shaft.

I swirled his precum around with my fingertip and that made me explode. I came on Betty’s tongue and then climbed out of the shower so I could climb onto Rapheal’s dick. Betty followed me and I took turns between tonguing Rapheal and sucking on Betty’s tities while I rode up and down on his dick.

We ended up staying in that bathroom for another 3-4 hours, doing things to each other that are probably illegal in about thirty-nine states.

We finally got around to taking the pictures the next morning. They came out awesome too because we ended up taking them on his balcony with the sun coming up in the background.

As for me being shy about taking nude pictures. Let’s just say I let all my inhibitions go that night and they damn sure are not coming back. In fact, I’m doing the cover of two skin mags next month and Betty and I are toying with the idea of doing some pornos together. I think it’s a great idea. I get to suck on all that good, juicy pussy and get paid too. What more can a sistah ask for?