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Zane's Erotica Noir
eMonthly
February 2000
Please email me at zane@eroticanoir.com
if you wish to be added or removed from my list. Please, please, please make sure that you are on my list before you ask to be removed. Ironically, the only people that ever email me asking to be removed are not even on there.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Announcements
Which Tree Are You?
New Way To Slim Down
Jokes
The Secrets to Sizzling (Solo) Sex
Advice Questions
The Rules of Bedroom Golf
Squirt: A Real Life Sexual Escapade
First Time Blues: A Real Life Tale of Lost Virginity
ANNOUNCEMENTS
I would like to thank all of you that have purchased my book so far,
The Sex Chronicles: Shattering the
Myth. I appreciate all the positive feedback. The book has shocked quite a few people but I told you the really freaky stuff is in the book. Sales are skyrocketing and I can't tell you how much all the encouragement and support means to me.
Here are a couple of emails I have received from people that have
purchased the book.
Subj: I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT
Date: 02/04/2000 5:04:07 PM Eastern Standard Time
From:
To: Endeavors
YEAH SISTER GURL,
I'M READING IT AT BED TIME. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT, WILL THERE BE A SEQUEL I HOPE SO? I GO TO BED EVERY NIGHT WITH A WET COCHIE FROM READING YOUR BOOK. I'LL BE PASSING IT AROUND TO MY GIRLFRIENDS. YOU GOT A SERIOUS WINNER ON YOUR HANDS. I JUST FINISHED THE KNIGHT-IN-SHINING-ARMOR,
HOPE I'LL BE THAT LUCKY, SMOOCHES,
Subj: Re: The Sex Chronicles
Date: 02/08/2000 10:03:17 AM Eastern Standard Time
From:
To: Endeavors
Thank you so much for the book:
I just got it yesterday, and I am SO INTO IT... I stayed up late last night reading page after page. If I didn't have to sleep, I wouldn't :O)
But, there is work to do, and I will be sure to get back to it AS SOON AS I GET HOME!!!!
At this rate I should be done by the end of the week. I will surely keep you posted on my progress. I LOVE THE VALENTINE ONE!!!
YOU GO GIRL!
Much love to you Zane
keep up the good work
Peace, Love, and Blessings of Good Health 2U
Addicted is going to print shortly and will be out in a couple of months. Trust me,
it is off the HIZZIE!
I am looking for M.W. from Seattle, WA so I can give you something. If you are M.W. and you know what I am talking about, please email me so I can get that out to you. I sent you a letter but it was returned with no forwarding address so please contact me. Thanks.
In the past, I have had several inquiries about quality lesbian erotica available. If it interests you, please check out the book
"Suite 69.....Black Lesbian
Erotica". The sistah's work is hot on the underground circuit in Houston where she shows off her awesome talent at poetry slams throughout the city. Please make sure you show URBANLOVA some love.
If you are interested in a 5-night Mexico Getaway to Playa del Carmen, Cozumel, and Progreso aboard Commodore’s Enchanted Capri cruise ship from April 30th-May 5th, 2000 with the option of staying on for a cruise during the New Orleans Jazz Festival from May 5th-May 7th, 2000, please contact
Herris Butler
- Photo shoot for a year 2001 calendar in Key West, Florida
-Looking for men and women of superior ethnic features and excellent sexual qualities
-Photo shoot will cover swimwear, casual and elegant
-The photo session will be covered on a 3 day weekend in March
- Only serious minds & bodies need apply
- For further details contact Curtis Givens of Photo Artistry at Givens1@aol.com or 716.647.3322.
WHICH TREE ARE YOU?
What tree did YOU fall from? Find your birthday and then find your
tree... This is really cool and quite accurate, also in line with Celtic
astrology.
Dec 23 to Dec 31 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 - Beech Tree
APPLE TREE (the Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and
attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in
love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very
generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with
imagination.
ASH TREE (the Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious,
impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent,
talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and
trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the
heart, but takes partnership very seriously.
BEECH TREE (the Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its
looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical,
good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime
companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)
BIRCH TREE (the inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant,
friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors
the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of
imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.
CEDAR TREE (the Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt,
likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on
others, self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others,
many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true
love, able to make quick decisions.
CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) - of unusual beauty, does not want to
impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born
diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a
lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood,
loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.
CYPRESS TREE (the Faithfulness) - strong, muscular, adaptable, takes
what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and
acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be
satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.
ELM TREE (the Noble-mindedness) - pleasant shape, tasteful clothes,
modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but
not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for
others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.
FIG TREE (the Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed,
independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its
family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of
humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.
FIR TREE (the Mysterious) - extraordinary taste, dignity,
sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism
but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious,
talented, industrious, discontent lover, many friends, many foes, very
reliable.
HAZELNUT TREE (the Extraordinary) - charming, undemanding, very
understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social
cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner,
precise sense of judgment.
HORNBEAM TREE (the Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares for its looks
and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as
possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and
acknowledgement in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is
seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of
its decisions, very conscientious.
LIME TREE (the Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed
way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness,
soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not
tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very
jealous but loyal.
MAPLE TREE (Independence of Mind) - no ordinary person, full of
imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud,
self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many
complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to
impress.
OAK TREE (the Brave) - robust nature, courageous, strong,
unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet
on the ground, person of action.
OLIVE TREE (the Wisdom) - loves sun, warmth and kind feelings,
reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful,
calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, sympathetic, free of
jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
PINE TREE (the Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust,
knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion,
but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out
quickly, gives up easily, everything disappointments until it finds its
ideal, trustworthy, practical.
POPLAR TREE (the Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, not very
self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant
surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature,
good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any
situation, takes partnership seriously.
ROWAN TREE (the Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted
without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and
even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste,
artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.
WALNUT TREE (the Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of
contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected
reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and
uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious
strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.
WEEPING WILLOW (the Melancholy) - beautiful but full of melancholy,
attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves
to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is
not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but
finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
NEW WAY TO SLIM DOWN
Sex is the most practical and funniest way of loosing
weight. Look how many calories you can loose:
* TAKING OFF CLOTHES
With her agreement..............................12 cal
Without her agreement..........................187 cal
* TAKING THE BRA OFF
With both hands..................................8 cal
With one hand...................................12 cal
With one hand being slapped.....................37 cal
With the mouth..................................85 cal
* PUTTING ON THE CONDOM
With erection....................................6 cal
Without erection...............................315 cal
* PRELIMINARIES
Trying to find the clitoris......................8 cal
Trying to find G spot...........................92 cal
Dun Bother............................0 cal
* WHEN DOING IT
Holding her up..................................12 cal
Just on the floor................................8 cal
* POSITIONS
daddy-mummy.....................................12 cal
69 laying........................................8 cal
(she gets some calories, depending on how much does she
swallow)
69 standing up.................................112 cal
Troley.........................................216 cal
Italian chandelier.............................912 cal
* HAVING AN ORGASM
Real...........................................112 cal
False..........................................315 cal
* POST ORGASM
Staying in bed..................................18 cal
Jump off the bed................................36 cal
Explain why did she jump off the bed...........816 cal
* GETTING THE SECOND ERECTION
Between 16 and 19 years old.....................12 cal
from 20 to 29...................................36 cal
from 30 to 39..................................108 cal
from 40 to 49..................................324 cal
from 50 to 59..................................972 cal
more than 60..................................2916 cal
* PUTTING ON THE CLOTHES
Quietly.........................................32 cal
Being in a hurry................................98 cal
With her husband/ his wife opening the door.............1218
cal
JOKES
A six-year-old walks into the kitchen where his mom is preparing a meal and says: "Mom, the last few nights I have woke up to this thumping noise coming out of your bedroom and when I look to see what it is, you're sitting on top of dad and bouncing up and down. Why are you doing that?"
The startled mother recovers quickly and says, "Your dad is a little overweight and I'm trying to get him back to normal size. I bounce on him to get all the air out of him."
The little kid just shakes his head and says, "Mom, you're wasting your time."
The mother says, "Why is that, dear?"
The kid says, "Because, once a week, that nice-looking lady next door comes over and
blows daddy right back up!"
Three businessmen were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in." The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" The third, a blonde male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time I think of it," he chuckles. "My wife went to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bags, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. But she doesn't even have a penis!"
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN A GHETTO HAIR SALON/BARBER SHOP WHEN:
1. All the stylists walk around with house slippers on.
2. When your stylist takes a cigarette break it's weed she smokes.
3. Your stylist is still there doing your hair even though she's supposed to be on bed rest.
4. Four people are booked for the same 1:00 appointment.
5. Your stylist calls YOU at the salon talkin' bout "I overslept, but I'm on my way."
6. When your stylist finally arrives you can see that she had been to the club the night before because she still has on her club clothes.
7. Every hairstyle, no matter what your getting, requires that nasty brown gel.
8. There's always that one stylist in the back that you can't tell whether it's a girl or a guy.
9. All the other stylists fake like someone else's client's hair looks good until they leave the shop and then its "Girl, I KNOW Sharon ain't let her walk outta here like dat!"
10. There's a receptionist's booth at the front of the shop, but no one ever uses it because its stocked with beauty supplies.
11. The local restaurants come in and personally take food orders.
12. There's a hustler's car show outside of the shop every Saturday afternoon.
13. Some crackhead is always coming into the shop every five minutes trying to sell some deodorant, batteries, bootleg CDs, videos or packs of socks...
14. Everybody's trying to rush their clients out of the chair so they can get ready for their "hair show" that night.
15. You have to divide your tips about four different ways because one permed you, one shampooed you, one wrapped you and your stylist finished you up.
16. You get to the salon and your stylist isn't there, so you gotta page her and when she calls back, you gotta go pick her and her baby up and stop for milk.
17. Your ears are ringing because 'back dat azz up' is playing on the salon radio and your stylist is singing right along.
18. Somebody is making a store run and is taking orders for cigarettes, quarter waters, chips and smokes from the weed spot... and the clients are all running from beneath the dryers for their pocketbooks.
19. They got Mountain Dew, Pineapple, AND grape soda in the PEPSI machine, but NO PEPSI.
20. Your stylist stops doing your hair to go outside and talk to her MAN
21. Your stylist got 10 Polaroid pictures from the club stuck around her mirror and in each picture, she has different color hair and matching nails.
22. Your stylist holds a 15 minute phone conversation with somebody while she styles your hair.
23. She is dressed to the nines in designer gear, but can't spell VERSACE.
24. The owner of the shop and one of the stylists gets into a cussing match in front of the customers because she made an appointment after 5 knowing that she has to leave for an "appointment"
25. Roaches just run around freely - - using the bathroom and stuff...
26. Your stylist has to finish eating her chicken wings and pork fried rice before she can start your hair.
27. The stylist starts telling you the client's business that just got out of her chair and is out of the door.
28. All the stylists talk about each other.
29. Someone always comes in begging.
30. When they send Boo-Boo's baby girl to the 99-cent store to buy you a couple of packs of hair to finish your row...
31. When the stylist's boyfriend comes in the shop with his boys and you are just hoping that they hurry up with your hair before there is a drive-by.
32. When the front counter is filled with fliers for every party, after work
spot and step show for the next 3 months.
33. When all of the barbers have other gigs selling illegal cable boxes, incense, oils,
bean pies or have a CD coming out soon.
34. When the toilet tissue in the bathroom is the paper towels they use at the sink and the soap is the shampoo.
35. When the cash register is the owner's pockets.
THE SECRETS TO SIZZLING (SOLO) SEX
by Tracey Cox
From the May 1999 issue of Cosmopolitan
PLEASURE PRESCRIPTION #1-Let Your Fingers Do The Walking
Women's tastes vary in food, clothes, and men, and it's no different when it comes to solo sex. But there are two positions most lone lovers love: on your back with your knees up and legs apart and sitting up cross-legged with your back against the headboard or wall. Using the finger of your choice, stroke lightly and increase the pressure as you go. You can rub side to side or "flick" the clitoris, strumming as you would a guitar. Alternate slow, light, fast, and heavy petting to find the rhythm that's right for you until you bring yourself to climax.
Extra pleasure points: As you approach orgasm, press your heels together to increase the tension in your groin.
PLEASURE PRESCRIPTION #2-Rock 'N Rub Your World
Remember when you were too young to go "all the way", so you and your boyfriend used to have "outercourse" (pressing against each other's bodies)? Instead of applying direct stimulation to the clitoris with your fingers, rub against something like you did him-a pillow, a blanket, the mailbox...well, you get the point. Increase the pressure as you near orgasm by clenching your thigh muscles and buttocks. Most women also do Kegel exercises (rhythmically squeezing the same vaginal muscle you use to stop yourself from urinating) as they continue thrusting.
Extra pleasure points: Pull a sheet or blanket from back to front for added ecstasy.
PLEASURE PRESCRIPTION #3-Take Some Toy Time
A battery-operated buddy is a convenient and quick way to stimulate yourself when you're on the go. The best vibrators are the ones sold in department stores as body massagers. They work well because they have a flat surface that stimulates the clitoral area effectively. Positions and techniques with a vibrator are limited only by your imagination. The standard technique is to press the tip firmly against the closed labia and hold it there, varying the pressure, until you orgasm. Try standing up, sitting with legs apart, or lying down. Another technique is to stand with your legs apart, holding the vibrator in front and moving backward and forward against it. Moving the vibrator in a circular motion is also popular, as well as kneeling on the floor and squatting over it.
Unless you're orgasmically challenged or you deliberately tease yourself and hold off, you can usually orgasm with a vibrator in one to three minutes. To make your solo-sex moments last longer, try setting your sex toy on the lowest speed, applying pressure, and moving it in a circular motion, lifting it away if you feel yourself too close to climaxing.
Extra pleasure points: When you're ready to let go, try inserting the vibrator right as you're about to orgasm. It gives your vaginal muscles something to contract around and makes you feel filled up.
PLEASURE PRESCRIPTION #4- Enjoy The Power Of The Shower
It's soapy, slippery, wet, and private but unless you have a detachable handheld shower hose, you probably won't reach climax this way. Still, lots of women lift their lust levels while lathering up. If you do have a handheld shower on maximum pressure and directing the jet so the water rushes over your clitoral area. Ifyou don't have an adjustable shower nozzle, lie on your back and shimmy your legs up around the faucet. Sure, you might feel like a contortionist, but the sensation of the water against your clitoris is worth a little bending.
Extra pleasure points: If you're lucky enough to have a Jacuzzi (or access to one), you've no doubt discovered the pleasure of positioning yourself so that a strong jet of water stimulates the clitoris.
ADVICE QUESTIONS
I would like to thank my readers for responding to the two advice questions from last month. The bare ass question really got a lot of responses. Uh-huh, I knew you all were freaky. Anyway, here are some of the suggestions I received.
1) Waxing.........will only hurt as much as waxing your lip..........I
know....lol
2)professional hot wax treatment. dancers and porn stars can attest to
this. please stay away from the home remedies and waxes, especially in
that region; it can cause skin irritation and skin rashes. not that I
would know.....ha
3) All this guy has to do is spend a few
dollars on a pair of inexpensive clippers. They have guards on them
so he won't be completely bare assed. Just set the guards to a comfortable
level and cut it as close as necessary. His girl will appreciate it,
and he'll reap the benefits.
4) in answer to your request for advise Number
#2, the Hair removal issue from his ass, I gather he is referring to the
hair on top of the cheeks not between them...(MMMMMM) :-)
Well my suggestion which I give to my girlfriends that seem to get shaving
rash from doing their bikini line is to use "Hair removal Cream"
It is soft, it may smell whilst using it, but once you wash it off, you
can be rest assured that his ASS will be FINE and feel SMOOTH and very
LICKABLE, and tell that girl to BITE DAT ASS TOO..
Also the bonus of this is that the hair grows back with Soft ends - not
like harsh stubble from shaving as the cream in fact "melts" the
hair so the ends are softened... Depending on the texture of the
individuals hair.. The hairs should remain soft even during the growth
back..
The question about the quality sex help and
xxx rated films only brought in one response. Here it is:
Try Adam and Eve's online store, at
adameve.com. They pretty much have EVERYTHING. Their
African-American videos are pretty good, and 9 times out of ten, they
stress USING A CONDOM!!
If you want to see some more advice questions, feel free to check out my Advice Column
THE RULES OF BEDROOM GOLF
1) Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
2) Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3) Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.
4) For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5) Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6) The object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7) It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course with special attention to well formed bunkers.
8) Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played, or are currently playing, to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9) Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10) Players should ensure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.
11) Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12) The course owner is responsible for manicuring and pruning any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with and approach to the hole.
13) Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14) Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily , at the course owner's request.
15) It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
The following two real life experience were sent to me by two of my
readers, one female and one male. All I can say is "DAYUMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"
On the real though, this just serves to prove a point. Women and men
are very much alike when it comes to sexuality. Both of these
stories turned me on big time and I am sure they will do the same for
you. Especially since they are 100% true. Enjoy!
SQUIRT-A REAL LIFE SEXUAL
ESCAPADE
by Anonymous
Zane, tonight my best friend Candy sent me email from you. I
read your web page. Then I read if any one has something to share to write to you.
I have been married for eighteen years. I have never cheated on Mr. Jay, but I always wanted to give his pussy to another man. I dreamed about having another long dick in my muffie for years and years and no one had the power to make me want to pull those panties down. I remained faithful. I went to a chat room and met Mr. Nasty. I was honest with him. I told him I am a faithful wife waiting to give this pussy away.
Mr. Nasty and I had cybersex, then a week later we had phone sex. Oh my, it was different for me! Nasty made me cum from three-thousand miles away. He asked me to go buy some toys. I drove sixty miles to the adult toy store and bought a dildo and the head of the dick goes up and down. I also got a whip, a pair of handcuffs and three X-rated films. I charged it on my credit card. I was worried hubby would find my toys so I hid them in a Kotex box way under the bathroom cabinet.
Well, when Mr. Nasty called me again, I was ready for his nasty ass. I went to the drug store to get some K-Y Jelly. I heated the gel in the microwave and rubbed it on my clit, rubbed some all on my pussy hairs and my tight hole. I was ready for his ass to call.
When I picked the phone up, I was feeling so sexy and horny. I wanted to hear his sexy damn voice in my ear. He had his baby oil jerking his dick. Zane, I made him put the phone next to his dick so I could hear his ass jerk and jerk. I could hear him beat his meat. The more he jerked that meat, the more I put that hard dildo dick in my hot, microwave, K-Y Jelly pussy. Mr. Nasty talked so much shit, that hot juice mixed with the K-Y and made me bend that new toy all up.
Well Zane, after that, I knew it was time to get some real dick in my life. Enough of the toys. One night my friends G. called. We just had small talk. We were just friends for a few years. That night he sounded sexy to me, his voice was low and turning me on. Something popped in my head. I said, "Damn, G. could be the one to fuck me!" So we talked for hours and then he asked me had I ever seen a man jerk off and cum 3-4 times back to back? I said no. He said my dick is in my hand and I have over eight inches. I could not believe the conversation was about sex and his dick but while G. was talking, I went to my Kotex box to get my toy and G. told me he was a real freak.
Damn, I did not know how to handle this conversation, but I made sure while he was talking that I had that rubber dicky in that coochie while he was telling me how freaky he was. He said he could last for over an hour and he could cum and cum and cum and stay hard. Oh shit, I could not believe his story. I had two orgasms while he was just talking to me. Damn, I knew he was the one that I was going to give Mr. Jay's pussy to. Yes, he was the one!
Three days later, I called him at work and he said he wanted to see me. I was at his job in an hour and the whole time I was there, I wondered if he could make himself cum and cum back to back like he said over the phone. Well anyway, it was closing time. He was the last one in the office. He was so sweet and he pulled out that pretty brown dick. He sat on the office chair and said "Are you ready to see me back up what I said on the phone the other night?"
My pussy was just throbbing and throbbing and just moving all by itself. Zane, he jerked that dick with style and I mean style. I was just watching and he was turning me on. He said, "Baby, here is the first load." Damn he shot it everywhere, all on the computer, nut was dripping from the monitor. Wow, I was shocked when I looked one minute later and his dick was hard again. He go more baby oil and jerked that dick for the second time around and again he shot the load. Damn, I was losing my mind by then. Cum was everywhere. It was on my high heel shoes and the stain is still there to this day. Then another minute later, the dick was hard again and he told me he could shoot another load. He played with that dick and jerked it some more and said to me, "Baby, I have so much control that when you want me to cum, say the word squirt. Just say the word squirt and I will shoot that load."
I watched him for a while, then I said, "Okay G, squirt baby, squirt." That was three times and his dick was still hard. This time cum was all over my right pants leg. I said, "Damn G, I can't go home with all these cum
stains on me", but I did. I went home and called my girlfriend Candy. I told her all about this cum freak friend of mine that one day I wanted to fuck me.
The next week, all three of us met. I asked Mr. Cum Freak to jerk off and show Candy how he could control that dick. He loved the idea so we went to Candy's house where she has a pool table, sofa, bed and wine. He sat his freaky ass on the pool table. I sat on the right, Candy sat on the left and his ass was right in the middle. He pulled that pretty brown piece of hot meat out of his designer underwear and he stroked it. He came for both of us two times. The third time, I said, "No G, let me take over from here."
He laid back on the pool table and I began to suck that dick. Damn, his dick tasted so damn good to me. Candy was watching every suck. That night I was in a dick sucking mood. Yes, I wanted that dick all down my throat. He was turning me on. She was watching and it was my first time sucking another man's dick in eighteen years. I felt so nasty. G took me, pulled my panties down and ate my pussy like it was fried chicken. He sucked it to the bone. He licked my asshole. Damn, that was the fist ass-licking ever. He fucked me on the sofa, chair, pool table and floor. He looked back at Candy and said, "Damn, I'm fucking the shit out of your girl, ain't I?" He wore my ass out that night. He told me to let him know when he could cum. I made sure I had at least seven orgasms that night. Then I said, "G baby, squirt baby, squirt! Cream that sweet brown dick!" Damn, nut was all over the pool table. That was my first time giving the pussy up. That was some good ass dick. I wanted more but everyone is standing in line. He has fucked every other woman in the city. All I can have is flashbacks of those two freaky nights and I am sharing them with you.
FIRST TIME BLUES: A REAL LIFE TALE OF LOST VIRGINITY
By NubianWrit
All Rights Reserved
Fresh out of Boot Camp at Parris Island, I was more then ready to face the world as a tried and proven man...a U.S. Marine. This was the my first time being on my own...away from home. I was nineteen and still had my virginity...not to say that I haven't experienced sex. I've had many near hits, but was headed off at the pass...so to speak.
Believe me, I knew what 'blue balls' were...oh, how many times. The girls in my days, allowed you to feel their forbidden parts...and even on occasion, to 'dry fuck'...but they seldom went further than that. They would send you home harder then times in '29. Thank God for Bayers Aspirins and hot water. It wasn't until years later, that I found out that they were getting their cookies and sending us boys home hurting.
On with my story. Upon graduation from Boot Camp, I was transferred to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina. After a short time there, I went on my first long weekend leave with my newly made buddies to Wilmington. We traveled by bus, anticipating having a much needed sexual fulfilling weekend. Upon arriving in Wilmington, our first order of the day was to find the train tracks...and do the 'cross-over' into black land.
The three of us finally found a party that was going on at a house on the main drag. People were out on the porch talking, drinking, and some doing weed. They didn't pay much attention to us as we passed them and entered the house. We walked down a long hallway, with rooms on either side. At the end of it, there was a large room where a crowd were dancing to the music from a huge jukebox over in the corner. A few tables and chairs were positioned along the walls.
The room was dark, with the exception of one blue light bulb in the ceiling...you could barely see who you were dancing with, or talking to. We split up to do our own thing, which was all right with me, because I've always been a loner anyway. I just stood at a spot close to a wall, which gave me a good vantage point of what I could barely see of the crowd. I didn't want to be too quick in making a move on any of the women. I was told once, that the people down in these southern towns wasn't too cool about strangers hitting on their local women. I
definitely wasn't looking for war...I was looking for love.
I was in luck. I was approached by a foxy, full figured woman. I mean, she was filled out nice...full bosomed, big shapely legs...and a ass like a window seal! She was on the dark side and with long straight black hair. She had the prettiest smile I've seen in a long time...and light
gray eyes to boot. This combination was strange to me, but she was beautiful in her own odd way.
Her name was Pearlie Mae...I'm serious! Talk about a fitting name! Well anyway, she came on strong to me. We talked for a while, and danced on every slow-drag that came on. I was really getting a taste of that southern charm I've heard so much about. This creature was a real joy to talk to. I felt comfortable with her right away.
It wasn't long before she started turning up the heat on me. I could feel her stomach muscles rippling as she pressed her body into mine as we danced. She buried her face under my chin, breathing deep and hot. The fragrance of her warm body filled my nose, causing me to feel warm and lusty. Damn, this woman was turning me on big time. I got bold and embrace her with both arms, with my hands lightly gripping both of her cheeks...with no resistance from her. Man, I was in my world. My dick was hard and poked into her big time, which she responded by pressing closer. This was one time, I was glad the lights were practically non-existing. Pearlie Mae was the only person I danced or talked to that night.
After much talk and belly-rubbing, she asked me if I was staying the weekend and where. I told her I haven't thought that far ahead yet. She just came out and told me that it wasn't necessary to spend money on a hotel, when I could stay with her. I couldn't believe I was having this kind of luck!
She took my hand and led me out of the house and down the sidewalk. We just walked a short distance when she stopped and wrapped her arms around me, and kissed me full and deep. Before I could catch my breath, she had placed her warm hands lightly over my crotch and slowly started rubbing me...all this in the middle of the sidewalk! I just knew this was going to be a night to remember. We continued walking and talking...and stroking. I was relishing every bit of this action.
Now check this out. All of a sudden she stopped short and left me standing, as she started running up a driveway between two houses...pulling up her skirt as she ran. I said to myself...damn, she just couldn't wait till we got to her place...she wanted to do something now. Shiiiit, I was for all this carrying-on! I followed her up the drive while unbuckling my belt and unzipping my pants.
Pearlie disappeared in the rear of one of the houses, and about the time I caught up with her, my pants were down below my knees and my dick sticking out of my shorts. I was ready! My jaws dropped to my chest when I saw her. She was in a full squat, and piss was coming out of her like water out of a faucet...I swear! She looked at me in a cute way and said, "a girl got to do what a girl got to do." I felt a little embarrassed as I pulled up my pants and put everything back to order. I thought to myself that I couldn't wait to tell my buddies about this shit! But I knew I wouldn't, because I've always been very closed-mouth about my business.
We continued our walk to her place. After a few blocks, we turned up a small dirt street across from some hole-in-the-wall joint. Low down and dirty blues was playing loud. We walked a short ways, passing a row of old small houses, finally reaching hers. I watched her from behind, as she climbed the three short steps to her porch. The sensuous way her body moved, aroused me again. At first I thought the way she swayed her hips were exaggerated, but I soon realized that it was her natural walk. I still couldn't believe my luck!
She unlocked the door and grabbed my hand and led me in. I could scent of kerosene lamps she used for light...there was no electricity. It was a small place. One bedroom, a living room, and a kitchen. Seating me in a sofa chair, she lit one of the lamps. Even though I was amazed at the lack of anything modern, I could deal with it...the only thing I had on my mind was getting next to this pretty thing.
Pearlie sat down on the arm of the chair I was sitting in, and slowly eased down into my lap. She put her arms around me and kissed, then asked me:
"Fred, have you ever fucked the girl you love?"
I didn't answer her, because I didn't understand why she asked me that. Actually, I haven't fucked anybody yet...and I was too embarrassed to reveal that fact. She leaned back and asked me question, that was really shook me.
"Are you a virgin, Fred?" she asked with a little smile on her lips.
"Now why did you ask me that?" I responded, avoiding her eyes.
"You're a virgin...I can tell." She said...this time with a broader smile.
"My goodness, I have a virgin on my hands."
After saying that, she hugged my embarrassed ass tighter, and whispered in my ears,
"Don't worry baby...relax. Pearlie going to teach you good tonight."
Then she kissed me again.
Sliding off my lap, she walked over to her icebox, opened it and took out a half pint bottle. Getting two glasses off a shelf, she walked back over to me again and sat on my lap...this time straddling me...crushing her warm mound against me. Damn! The heat from her crotch brought my dick to attention.
"Have you ever drank any 'White Lightning'?" she asked as she poured half the bottle in each glass.
"No, I never have." I responded nervously...trying to maintain my cools.
She slowly started moving her hips...grinding down on me and purred in a her soft southern drawl,
"Sugar, you're my baby tonight...I'm taking good care of you."
Pearlie took my hand with the glass in it and placed it up to my lips. If a person never drank any 'White Lightning', they would never forget it, if they had. It looked like water, but believe me it didn't taste like water. After a short while my head was spinning...I was feeling good! My crotch was wet with pre-cum...believe me, I was more then ready to be taught.
Pearlie backed off me and unfastened her tight fitting skirt and stepped out of it. God, she had a body on her. I began having doubts whether I would survive this night. She then unbuttoned her blouse and took off her bra,
baring her full, well shaped breasts, and letting them both fall into my lap. Pearlie watched my eyes as she took my hands and pulled me to my feet. She unbuckled my belt, then unzipped my pants and let them drop to the floor. I stepped out of them and took off my shirt. She then pulled down my shorts...and jerked her head back a little.
"My goodness! Freddie has a nice one...doesn't he?"
Pearlie sank down to her knees and slowly brought her full lips to the head of my dick and kissed it. I never had anyone do that to me before. She looked up at me and whispered,
"And this is just the beginning."
Pearlie stood up and took my hand again and led me over to the bed. She pushed me back on the bed and then peeled her panties down and stepped out of them, leaving her stockings on. Climbing up on the bed, she straddled my chest and leaned over and stretched my arms out to the side. Pearlie looked me in the eyes and softly said,
"I want you to taste my forbidden fruit tonight."
There was no question in my mind of what she meant. I could smell the scent of her sex and it deeply aroused me. I never been this close to any pussy before.
"Freddie, do you want taste me? Do you want to know what I taste like?" she said as she scooted up closer to my face.
Her crotch was nestled softly against my chin, and I could feel the wetness of her love juices as she moved her hips, spreading the wetness over my chin and lips. I thought I was going to faint.
"Lick me Fred, let me feel your tongue...I want you to like it."
Lifting up and lowering herself slowly over my searching tongue. She started oscillating, barely letting her love nest touch my mouth. I was overwhelmed by the fragrance of her sex. At first, I was a little hesitant, but then I said to myself...it wasn't nothing that soap and water couldn't clean up.
Pearlie released my hands and placed her hands down to her damp mound and spread herself wide.
"See my rosebud...touch it lightly with your tongue." She said as she looked down at me.
"You're making me feel good, Freddie."
Without thinking, I cupped both of her full breasts...feeling their softness...soft as cotton. She started hunching her hips...sliding her love nest across my face, as I flicked my tongue across her rosebud. I listened to her moan and groan, and whimper, as an uncontrollable lust built up in her. I couldn't believe that this was me, making love to a woman in this way...and liking it.
"Baby hold up for a second, let me turn around," she said.
Turning her voluptuous body so that her sensual ass was over my face, and placing her mouth in a position directly over my hardness.
"Just relax baby and let Pearlie make you feel good."
Believe me, I was in a strange new world, and I was liking it more and more.
I felt her hot breath on my swollen dick, then felt her warm tongue licking it up and down...her fingernails lightly stroked the bottom of my balls, sending a delightful sensation throughout my trembling body. Wrapping my arms around her ample ass and pulled her wet, hairy love mound down to my seeking mouth, I slid my tongue into her warm tunnel. Into a pussy of a woman for the first time...a woman I never knew before tonight. Then it happened. I felt my hardened dick sinking into her warm wet mouth. My whole body shook and trembled as she slowly sucked me in. I felt the rippling of her tongue as she took my whole shaft...nursing it...milking it. My nose was inhaling the scent of her hot pussy as my tongue thrust deeper into her tunnel...I could feel the walls of her pussy snatching at, and clinching my probing tongue. This exchange of love lasted for a long while. We were both in our own world...nothing else existed.
Pearlie released me just when I thought I was going to explode.
"Fred, I want you to fuck me...now...please," she said as she rolled off me and laid on her back, spreading her full thighs.
"Come on baby, take me," she hissed.
She pulled me on top of her hot moist body...settling me in her waiting nest. With no assistance, my love pole found her and sank deep into her quivering pussy. She hugged me hard as I pressed deeper into her. Burying our heads between the huge pillows...we kissed hungrily...growling and grunting. I felt her gripping my shaft hard with the trembling muscles of her tunnel.
I often fantasized, but never came close to thinking that fucking was like this...never dreamed it would suck at your soul. Oh how I wanted this to last, never wanting it to end. I stroked and gave...she received and nursed. We merged into one, exchanging our energies...our hungers.
"Come baby, give it up for Pearlie...give it up, sugar."
Then I could feel it happening and she knew it too...she wrapped and locked her legs around mine as we pressed our bodies hard into each other. Thrusting my swollen dick deep into her, dead-poling...mixing our love-juices...straining and pressing. Then she clamped down on my dick with her quivering pussy, and held me...and milked me till there was nothing to milk...then she just nursed me gently...ever so gently. We both fell asleep...spent...satisfied.
Yes, I gave up my virginity and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm thankful it happened the way it did...and grateful for Pearlie, the woman who took it.
Finis
This concludes the February issue of Zane's
Erotica Noir eMonthly
Peace and Much Love, Zane
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