Zane's Erotica Noir eMonthly
April 1999

Welcome to the 8th Volume of my erotica newsletter !

NEXT MONTH, I WILL BE GOING BACK TO A MORE INSTRUCTIONAL FORMAT. I RECEIVE A LOT OF ADVICE MAIL AND I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS SOME OF THE ISSUES. FOR THOSE WHO HAVE SENT ME ADVICE MAIL, DON'T PANIC. I WOULD NEVER SHARE YOUR MAIL WITH ANYONE ELSE. I JUST NOTICE A PATTERN, NAMELY PEOPLE NOT BEING SATISFIED WITH THEIR SEXUAL PARTNERS. THEREFORE, MY MAY ISSUE WILL CONCENTRATE ON "HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN" AND MY JUNE ISSUE WILL CONCENTRATE ON "HOW TO PLEASE A MAN". ALSO, I WILL BE MOVING TO THE WORLD WIDE WEB SOON. THIS TIME, AS PROMISED, IT WILL BE UNDER MY OWN DOMAIN NAME AND I WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MY PAGES BEING TAKEN DOWN WITHIN HOURS OF THEM GOING UP, WHICH HAS BEEN THE CASE IN THE PAST.


TABLE OF CONTENTS
CONDOM SLOGANS
ADULT MIXED DRINKS
DICK'S PROMOTION
ANOTHER VERSION OF SNOW WHITE
MY PUSSY BY NQUEEN52@AOL.COM
NIGHT OF BLISS BY FREDRIC (SCATMAN639@AOL.COM)
STORE ROOM BY XRESSNIT@AOL.COM
ROOM 69 BY ZANE


CONDOM SLOGANS
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condom: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey - you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmm, good.
General Electric Condoms: We bring good things to life!
AT&T Condoms: Reach out and touch someone.
Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper.
Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today?
Energizer Condoms: It keeps going and going and going....
M&M condom: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!
Taco Bell Condoms: Get some; make a run for the border.
MCI Condoms: For friends and family
Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter.
Delta Airlines Condoms travel pack: Delta is ready when you are.
United Airlines Condoms travel pack: Fly United.
The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.


ADULT MIXED DRINKS
The Clitoris
1 part Bacardi
1 part Creme de Almond
1 part Bailey's
1 part Whipped Cream
Cherry

Layer in shot glass.


Blow Job
1/2 oz. Kailua 
Whipped cream 

Top with the cream. No hands, tilt your head back and swallow


Cum In A Hot Tub
1/2 oz. Orange Juice
1/2 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream

Pour Bailey's into Orange Juice for curdling effect


Deep Throat
(same as blow job, only in a salt shaker and for women only)
The tongue must be used to break the whipped cream seal.


Flaming Blue Fuck
1 1/2 oz. Sambuca
1/2 oz. Blue Curaco

Set on fire and drink through a straw


Orgasm
2 oz. Vodka
2 oz. Amaretto
2 oz. Kahlua
2 oz. Light Cream

Shake with ice, strain into highball glass 


Sit On My Face
1 shot Bailey's Irish Cream
1 shot Frangelica
1 shot Kahlua

Layer the Bailey's over Frangelica over Kahlua


Wrigley's Doublemint Blowjob
1 shot Kahlua
1/2 shot of peppermint schnapps 100 proof
Milk or Cream

Stir or whip


Cowboy Cocksucker
1 part vodka
1 part bailey's
1 part Kahlua

Topped with whipped cream, this drink is another one that must be 
drunk from the shot glass without using any hands.



Pierced Nipple 
1 part Sambuca
1 part Baileys
1 part Goldschlager

In a cordial glass layer the following in the above order, then float a 
coffee bean on top, tastes awesome.



Creamy Bush
1 part Bailey's Irish Cream
1 part Bushmill's Irish Whiskey

Combine in rock's glass


Flaming Orgasm
1 Beer
1 shot Bacardi 151

Pour the Beer into a glass, flame the 151, drop in Beer and slam


Fuzzy Dick
1 part Kahlua
1 part Grand Marnier
Coffee

In coffee cup mix, add whipped cream


Get Laid
1 1/2 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Raspberry schnapps
Pineapple juice
splash of cranberry juice

Stir in highball glass


Hairy Virgin
2 parts Rum
1 part Triple Sac
2 parts Orange/Pineapple juice
(if no cherry - Hairy Slut)
(if ice blended in- Frigid Hairy Virgin)
(if no cherry and blended - Hairy Bitch)

Serve over ice with/without a cherry


Hot Irish Nut
1 part Bailey's Irish Cream
1 part Frangelica
Coffee

Stir in coffee mug, (1 part amaretto optional)


Kiss In The Dark
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Cherry brandy
1 oz. Dry Vermouth

Stir with ice, strain into highball glass


Mother Fucker 
1 oz Vodka
1 oz Gin
1 oz Tequila
1 oz Rum
1 oz Kahlua

Hope you enjoy.


Pap Smear (Pabst Smir)
1 Beer
1 shot Smirnoff 100 proof

Drop Smirnoff into beer and chug


Pop The Cherry
2 oz. Cherry brandy
Orange Juice

Stir in highball glass, add cherry and orange slice


Rearbuster
2 oz. Tequila
2 oz. Kahlua
Cranberry juice

Stir in highball glass


Screaming Orgasm
Equal parts- 
Rum
Vodka
Bourbon

Open mouth, lean back, swallow till you can't swallow any more


Strawberry Stripper
Orange Juice
1 1/2 oz. Strawberry Schnapps
1 oz. Triple Sac

Pour Schnapps into Orange Juice and then Triple Sac - do not stir


Tight Snatch
1 1/2 oz. light Rum
1 oz. Peach Schnapps
Pineapple juice

Stir in highball glass


Virgin
1 1/2 oz. Gin
1/2 oz. white Creme de menthe
1 oz. forbidden fruit

Shake with ice, strain into highball glass


The 'Screw' Drinks
Here is how to add things together to get the various screw drinks:

Basic Screw Driver
1 part Vodka
Orange Juice

Stir in highball glass over ice

Fuzzy Screw
add 1 part Peach Schnapps

Slow Screw
add 1 part Sloe Gin

Comfortable Screw
add 1 part Southern Comfort

Screw Up Against The Wall
float a splash of Galliano on top

With A Kiss
float a splash of Amaretto on top


Roll Me Over And Do Me Again 
(Cocktail)
1/4 part Light Rum
1/4 part Dark Rum
1/4 part Midori
1/4 part Malibu
Splash Creme de Bananas

Fill with equal parts OJ And Pineapple, add touch of Grenadine
for color and shake.


Purple Motherfucker 
(Shot)
1 part Vodka
1 part Southern Comfort
1 part Blue Maui
1 part Cranberry juice.

Shake and pour as a shooter!


Gets Ya Laid Coffee
1 shot dark Creme de Cacao 
1 shot Orange Curacao 
1/2 shot Kahlua 
1 shot Vodka

Add coffee, should be in a VERY tall mug...top with whipped cream, 
add straw...and dreeeeenk several! Yeehaw!

Frozen Bushwhacker
1.5 oz. Kahlua
1 oz. Frangelica
1 oz. Bailey's
Irish Creme
1 oz. Amaretto
1 oz. Vodka (I prefer Absolute or Stolichnya) 

Combine all the above with 2-3 scoops of ice and blend until smooth. 


DICK'S PROMOTION
The male sexual organ henceforth called ("Dick") requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons:

- has to work hard;
- has to work at great depths;
- has to work upside down;
- has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work;
- has to work in a high humidity environment;
- has to work at high temperatures;
- does not get weekends and holidays off;
- does not get time off after extra hours of work;
- has a hazardous work environment that often causes professional sickness.

Dick's Request is denied for the following reasons:

- does not work 8 hours in a row;
- does not answer immediately to all requests;
- does not have a degree;
- after a short activity period, falls asleep at work;
- shows no fidelity to the workplace; 
- retires too early;
- does not work at all unless pushed from behind;
- does not leave the workplace clean after finishing work.


ANOTHER VERSION OF SNOW WHITE
Snow White was mad horny,
And desperate for a fuck,
So off she went into the woods,
To try and get some luck.

She'd almost given up looking,
When she saw some chimney smoke,
Then she stumbled on the cottage,
And went in for a poke.

Her clothes came off in seconds.
And she'd just removed her pants,
When seven dwarves came marching in,
With a merry song and dance.

Snow White just stood there speechless,
And thought she was in heaven,
Originally after one good shag,
But now she could have seven.

Straight away she took command,
"My fanny needs a lick!"
And when one dwarf moved forward,
She said "Oi-you'd better drop your pick"

So down he went onto all fours,
And said "I ain't licking that",
"Not there, that is my arse-hole,
You DOPEY little brat!"

The next dwarf started blushing,
"Do we have to do it here?"
Snow White said "Don't be BASHFUL,
Unless you're a fucking queer"

So reluctantly he whipped it out,
To prove he was no fool.
And Snow White gave a big "Heigh-Ho".
As she rode upon his tool.

Now one dwarf wasn't smiling.
Cos he hadn't had a sniff,
And due to his impatience,
He couldn't raise a stiff.

"Relax, you GRUMPY bastard",
So he did as he was told,
And as soon as he was hard enough,
He shot his fuckin load.

The next dwarf got a blow-job,
And she took him deep quite easy,
But she just avoided brain-damage,
When he sneezed, she called him SNEEZY.

With three dwarves left, she turned and said,
"You're next, I want your knob!"
But not sooner had he entered her,
And he was sleeping on the job.

"Wake up you SLEEPY bastard"
She wanted more from him.
And he woke with such excitement,
That he filled her hairy quim.

The next dwarf rammed his up her,
And shagged her fanny raw,
A dazed Snow White them whimpered.
"That should be against the law."

He made poor Snow White tremble,
He was so big and thick.
"No wonder you're so HAPPY,
With that fucking great big prick"

With one dwarf still remaining,
But feeling rather sore,
She said "You'll have to use your tongue,
My twat can't take no more!"

And so he put his tongue to work,
Where others had placed their cocks,
And 'cos he made Snow White feel better,
She named the last dwarf DOC.

Now Snow White couldn't do much,
With all that spadge inside her quim,
So she grabbed a cup, and squatted,
And filled it to the brim.

So there's the truth about the dwarves,
And how they got their names,
By satisfying Miss Snow White,
And joining in her games.

There's one more thing you need to know,
And that's - What happened to that cup,
Well think of what you're drinking,
When you next buy 7-Up! 




my pussy
by Nqueen52
c. 1998,philadelphia,pa, d. neal
all rights reserved.
As Luv Would Say It.....NQueen52

know how to
approach me
'cause if ya don't
ya won't see 
no parts of this
pussy....
i don't have that
"smack her on the ass
when she walks past
just cause i know she won't blast"
pussy.
i got that
"fine, wine and dine
hit me in the mind
before u 
hit me from behind"
pussy.
you know. that
"frontline, hard to climb" shit.

i ain't got that
"hurry up and grab,
hide in the brown bag,
cause it's a.....
ghetto sag, ghetto fab"
pussy
it's that
"go run and brag 
pussy.
my shit is tight.
make u pray to gawd
you get it right
and hope to come back
the next night" pussy

my shit'll make you scream
give ya voice
the "bitch pitch"
gotta go run and snitch,
tell ya whole team.
"damn this chic's 
really good at fuckin',
seems she's found her nitch"
you know
that first nut
knockout pussy.
i'm tellin' you boo,
i got that shit
and won't submit
to invitations of a lesser kind
so.
know how to approach me
or you won't see
no parts of this
pussy.......


NIGHT OF BLISS
A STORY BY FREDRIC
AOL Screenname : SCATMAN639
Copyright ©1999
All Rights Reserved

I've had better tasting coffee and perhaps better food, but this is my favorite restaurant. I like the service and the idea that it is open 24 hours. This evening I just sat in my adopted booth, trying to doctor up the nasty ass coffee with a little sugar and cream. Watching the sun go down was the best part of the whole deal for me, not to mention the solitude, that this time of the evening gave me. Little did I suspect that this whole scenario was about to change.
I noticed that a late model metallic gray sport car had pulled up and parked in front and a young lady stepped out and entered the restaurant. Now, I'm not bashful about looking at a fine looking woman……normally I just look and appreciate and continue drinking my coffee. This woman was different! She was wearing a one piece suit……or should I say it was wearing her. I'd say that she was in her late thirties. She was slim, built and had an ass on her that wouldn't wait! After she entered, she stood still for a few seconds looking around……and I'll be damned if her eyes didn't lock in on me, and started walking straight towards me. Now I was holding my breath on this! I was certain that she didn't know me, and she didn't look like a lady of the night……and she didn't really walk, she glided! Damn, this woman looked good.
She stopped at my table and just looked at me with a little naughty smile on her lips. She asked me if I was by myself and barely getting the words out of my mouth that I was, she set her fine brown frame down opposite me. At this stage in my life, too much didn't surprise me, but this thing made me a little nervous! She said that she hoped that I didn't mind her joining me and introduced her self as Marie, no last name just the first. When the waitress came to our booth, she ordered an orange juice and toast……and me with my dumfounded self, I just sat there looking at her. I knew I had a shitty smile on my face, and made no attempt to hide it! She delved right into conversation with me with no hesitation! She asked me if I had any plans this evening, that couldn't be changed! Whether I did or not……I said no, wondering what she was going to ask next. With my bad self, I was getting tuned up to talk a little trash to this pretty thing, but she denied me that chance. She just came flat out and told me that she wanted to spend some time with me this evening and night. Now, adding all this up, I figured that this evening was about to take an interesting twist for me. After she finished her juice, she asked me to take her somewhere, which was no problem with me. I paid the bill and we walked out of the restaurant. She got in her car and I got in mine……I led and she followed!
Now, I figured that all this was too good to be true. I was expecting her to turn off in another direction, or maybe she was a pro after all. At this point I didn't care if she was or not. I drove a few blocks to the Imperial Motor Court and turned in……she was right behind me. I got out and went in the office to pay for a cabin, still expecting this whole thing to fall apart. I got the key and drove a short distance to the cabin and she followed……parked beside me and got out of her car. I walked up to her and stood there waiting for this thing to unfold. Marie just embraced me and kissed me full and hard on my lips! I knew then that something was going to happen this morning.
She followed as I unlocked the door and entered the cabin. Once inside……I turned and faced her! All of a sudden, I didn't know what to do next. Should I make the first move and leave myself open to the possibility that she was a prostitute and ask for money up front, or was this really happening. She saw the confused look on my face and smiled, then told me that this is the real thing! She said that when she woke up this morning she decided she wanted to be fucked by a stranger, and I was the lucky man.
To assure me of this……she pressed her body against mine and French kissed me deep and lingering. My knees went weak and I felt myself breaking out in a sweat. Stepping back, she unzipped her tight fitting one piece suit and slowly pulled it down to her ankles and stepped out of it. I sucked air and just stared at her. I knew she had a tough body, but this was absolutely ridiculous. Marie had the most exciting body I've seen in many years. Her breasts was so perfect, and full……with large nipples. Her stomach was tight and flat……with a small waist and well formed hips. Marie's ass really got my attention……it was small enough in the large places and large enough in the small places. In other words, this girl was built! My eyes dropped to her bikini panties, which exposed more then they covered. I stared at her pubic hairs that revealed themselves through the thin fabric. Her legs were thick and well formed down to her blue heels that set them off. I said to myself, God has been good to me! I knew in my heart that I was lusting for this woman. I knew that I was going to make some serious love to her. As she removed her panties, looked at me and asked what I was waiting on……undress! Not moving fast enough for her, she started undressing me herself! Looking me in the eyes……she asked me if she deserved to know my name? Things had been moving so fast for me that I completely forgotten. I told her my name was Fred. She seemed satisfied with that and kissed me again.
I laid this beautiful woman down on the bed and laid down beside her. Embracing this woman and crushed her body against me. We kissed and stroked each other……searching and exploring! We rolled back and forth across the bed……breathing hard! Whispering lustful thoughts in each others ears. Kissing her all over her face……her eyes……her nose……her cheeks! She had her eyes shut tight as I bit and kissed her neck. I slowly moved my soft kisses down to her breasts……kissing and licking them all over and carefully caressing them with my hand. Needless to say that Junior was getting harder then times in '29! I bit and sucked her nipples till they became swollen and hard. Jesus, I was getting high with passion for this angel of a woman! I still found it hard to believe that I was being blessed like this. As I made love to her breasts, I could feel her chest expand and strain, trying to push her nipples harder against my mouth. Her breathing became quick and spasmodic, as if she was losing control……like her mind could no longer control her body! Numb with lust, I rolled over and laid between her legs. She willingly spread them for me, encouraging me to take control of her body. To fill the voids that she was aching for. Slowly I moved my kisses and licks down her quivering stomach to her deep set naval, sticking the tip of my tongue deep within it and moving my tongue in tight circles. As I was doing this, she began rolling her stomach muscles up and down in a rippling fashion. Damn, how she excited me! As I moved further down her lower stomach, she spread her thighs further. I knew what she craved and I knew I was going to satisfy that craving! Kissing her stomach, I could feel the fine hairs just above her thicker public hairs. I loved how these hairs stimulated my lips and tongue! I continued to leave a wet trail down to her pussy hairs, and started massaging my lips and nose in them. Oh, how I loved smelling her sex and tasting her wetness! My tongue worked its way through her hairs till it felt what it was searching for. Her clit had found its way out of its sheath as if to meet my stroking tongue. It jerked when I touched it with the tip, and grew larger. I sucked it softly in between my warm lips and bit it tenderly with my teeth. Marie started grinding her hips, crushing her mound into my face, forcing her rosebud deeper into my mouth! She raised her legs, wrapping them around me pulling my head yet closer into her cradle. How I loved the warmth and softness of her thighs pressed against the sides of my head. Releasing her rosebud, I moved down to the warm, wet pussy lips. I was drunk from the taste of her precum, her love juices……I was intoxicated with lust for this woman! Marie moaned and groaned loudly now, forcing her head deep into her pillow as she was consumed into her world of lust and desire! I could feel her heels pressing hard into my upper back. Her hands were stroking my head, pulling it closer against her mound. My lips, wet and slippery from her love juices, slowly started spreading her lips, allowing the tip of my tongue to enter her love tunnel. It was like entering another world……another level of existence, merging our souls together! My tongue, now grown hard……pushed deep into her tunnel. Feeling her muscles clinch and tighten as if to capture and hold this strange entity that invaded the depth of her being! I pushed deeper searching for that special place, her love lump. Finding it, I stroked it with the flat of my tongue. Again and again I stroked it till her moans turned to whispers and exotic words that only she understood. With tears in her eyes and her lips pouted, she rolled her head from side to side……bucking her hips, straining her mound into my face as she gave up the spirit of her lust!
Marie, regaining her composure, lifted her head from her pillow and stared at me for what seemed to be eternity. Her eyes were wet and red as she reached down and cupped my face in her hands. In a throaty and gritty voice, she beckoned me to mount her. Pulling me up on her, our eyes met, our lips met……our tongues met! We were in our own little private world, savoring our desire and lust for this forbidden union. Sucking in each others damp breath we crushed our bodies together, as if to merge with each other……understanding the meaning of 'one and one making one'. Feeling the pressure of my manhood, she slowly spread her thighs and hunched her mound up hard against my hardness. Marie reached down with one hand and grasped my hardness and rubbed the head, wet with my precum, across her pussy lips. Using the head of junior to massage her rosebud, and her warm wet lips! Moving him all over her mound, in the crease where her thighs met her crotch. She moved him down to the space between her anus and pussy, slowly stroking across that area. Then slowly bringing it back up to her warm wet pussy lips again. I helped her along with a slow tight grind……allowing myself to get intoxicated with this ritual of hers! Feeling her pussy twitching nervously, as if begging me to part her swollen lips and enter her private world. I could feel her pouting lips open and shut tenderly on junior's head, trembling……it lovingly pulled junior deeper into her love tunnel. Gripping, massaging, and squeezing……she pulled him deeper……deeper down her forbidden tunnel. Capturing him……locking him in, as if telling him that he belongs to her now. Telling junior that he will serve her, and if he serves her well……she will reward him well, by taking his juices and mixing it with hers! Letting the mixture become a part of her body chemistry for the duration of her life! Grinding her hips up, she took him deep within her……consuming the length of his swollen shaft. Marie arched her back, pushing her breast up, offering them. I lowered my lips on one of her hardened nipples and sucked gently, nursing it like a baby nurses a bottle. Biting softly and twirling the tip of my tongue around it, and did the same for the other……back and forth. Everytime I bit her nipple, she would buck her hips and squeeze my hardness, as if saying thank you for the every bite and pleasure her breasts were receiving! 
Slowly we made tender love for what seemed like hours, building up pressure till we were gradually losing control. The bucking and grinding became harder, the thrusting became deeper, the breathing became quicker. We talked, we whispered, we mumbled! The bed made its' noise and the walls echoed them back. All these sounds were like a song……a song sung in unison! The pace picked up, and the movements became jerky and uncontrollable, we both started gasping and sucking in air. Knowing that the volcano was about to erupt, she grinded her mound hard against mine, squeezing junior's shaft hard……and pulled him deep! She applied a suction on his shaft that pushed us both over the edge, the volcano erupted……the hot lava flowed……the earth trembled!
Marie asked me to hold both of her ass cheeks in my hands while we continue to move slow……slowing down the pace, grinding hard against each other. Embracing each other hard……kissing deep! We laid there holding each other while we recuperated. Not talking, but stroking and touching each other……watching each others eyes! Finally she released my manhood and allowed it to pull out a little, her muscles twitched and pulled on the head a little……then released him! Marie got up and went to the shower. I laid there……still finding it hard to believe that all this happened! I wondered if this was to be a beginning of a beautiful relationship or was it to be just two ships passing in the night? Finally she came out, drying herself and smiling down at me……she was so beautiful! I shook my head and got up to shower.
Finished, I came out, expecting her to be dressed……but to my surprise, she was laying across the bed just with the towel around her. Laying down beside her as she lightly brushed her hands over my chest and stomach. Marie then took junior in her hand and intensely studied him, looking at his head, the veins in the shaft. She looked at him like one would look at a sacred idol. Softly she ran her fingers up and down the shaft……barely touching it. Her eyes had a look of wonder in them, like she was amazed how this thing could give so much pleasure. She kissed it lightly on the head and said "thank you" and got up and started dressing. I was so overwhelmed with this 'goddess' of a woman, that I just laid back admired her as she dressed. I wanted to ask her for her phone number or something! But something deep down told me not to. I just wanted to remember this slice of time with her, with no future to alter it……and I felt she was thinking the same.
Marie picked up her purse, turned and stood there smiling, then blew me a kiss and walked out the door.
I never saw her again……but this, indeed, was a night of bliss!

FINIS

Store Room
By Xpressnit@aol.com
Copyright©1998
All Rights Reserved
Xpressnit's Homepage 


     "Wait a minute! I thought she was out of town. Okay. She wants to play that game. I got a few games of my own. I'll just follow her around and see just what the hell she's up to. I wonder why she told me she was going to be out of town on a business trip? I always thought she was taking way too many of them damn trips."
     Ed follows her around in the supermarket. He thinks Lon doesn't notice him tailing her up each aisle she walks down. Lon intentionally tells Ed she's going to be gone a day for a business trip. She intended to set Ed up so she could experience what it would be like to make love to him in a supermarket. Lon is always thinking of ways to spice up the relationship between her and Ed that's about 6 months old. 
     Her plan was to have Ed thinking she was gone and to follow him to the supermarket. Ed told her he was going there after he dropped her off at the airport. Lon followed him from the airport in a taxi.
     Lon leads Ed up and down almost every aisle in the store. She makes the game interesting by approaching a store employee, offer her a twenty dollar bill, and explain the game she wants to play. "Hi", Lon greets the employee who is a young shapely sister. "I need your help", Lon tells the employee. "I'm playing a joke on my man, and I need you to act as if you're whispering in my ear, and I'm going to put my arm around you." The employee is reluctant at first, but says, "make it a fifty and it's on!" "Damn!" Lon says under her breath. "Okay girl. Let's do this." Before they carry out their plan, Lon reminds the employee to follow her back to the store room and hide herself. The employee agrees and introduces herself as Dana.
"What the...What the hell's going on here", Ed mumbles as he peeks from behind a shelf of canned goods. "She's...she can't be...no damn way is she going out like that!" Ed watches as Lon puts her arm around the employee. Ed becomes angry and curious as he follows them back to the store room.
     The employee conceals herself behind a large pallet of paper towels and Lon hides in a dim corner. Ed enters the store room in an angry rush, only to find no one there. He is puzzled, wondering where they went. He starts searching the huge storage area, starting with the corner Lon hid herself in. Lon quickly removes her panty hose and panties and let her short skirt fall back to hug her well proportioned thighs. As Ed gets closer, she sits on a box, and starts moaning, "That's it girl. Right there. Put your fingers in there." Ed stops his advance cold as he can't believe his ears. How could this be Ed thinks. She's so good in bed with me. Ed peeks between an opening left by two boxes and all he could see was from Lon's head to her breasts. Lon had her head leaned back, and her breasts exposed. Lon was rolling her nipple in one hand. Her breasts were heaving with the deep breaths she was taking." 
     What Ed didn't know was Lon was there alone. At least in the corner. Dana, who agreed to play along, was listening and became aroused from the sound Lon was making. Dana became aroused and pulled her slacks off of one leg, propped the other leg on a box and began finger fucking her pussy with one hand and briskly rubbing her ass hole with the other. Dana's cum began to run onto her hand as she hastened the thrusts of her hand into her pussy. 
     Ed couldn't see from Lon's waist down. Lon was fingering her now wet pussy. Her fingers slid between her wet lips as she plunged them deep into her pussy. Lon was getting her pussy wet and hot for the continuation of her plan. Ed, even though upset, became aroused. The sound of Lon's moans and her fingers making a sucking noise as they plunged in and out of her pussy was too much for Ed to deal with. Ed unzipped his pants and pulled his large swollen nine inch dick from it's restraints, and started squeezing it in an up and down motion.
     Dana could see Ed, and was amazed at the size of his dick. Her mouth began to water as she watched his large hands rise and fall as he jerked it slowly. Dana reached an orgasm that almost made her moan out loud, but she knew she had to be quiet.
     Ed began stroking his dick faster as he watched Lon reach an orgasm. He still didn't know Lon was in there alone. Suddenly Lon stood up, pushed the box that was concealing Ed away, and said, "Hi big boy. Come break a piece off." Ed was startled and bewildered. He tried to hide his embarrassment of being caught jerking his dick. Lon reached out to him with both arms and leaned back onto the box. She propped her feet up on the edge of the box, causing her moist pussy to be exposed where Ed could get a good view. Lon slipped two fingers inside and continued to fuck her pussy deeper. Ed couldn't stand it. He looked around to see if anyone could see them. When he concluded the boxes were concealing them from anyone walking in the door, he walked over to Lon and kneeled down in front of her.
     He inhaled through his nostrils and could smell Lon's light perfume and slight must of her pouting pussy. Ed buried his face deep between Lon's thighs and began to lick the lips of her pussy one at a time. Lon, holding the back of Ed's head, pulled his mouth deep between her lips and moaned, "Suck my pussy Boo. I've always wanted to fuck you in a store." Ed honored her request and caught Lon's clitoris between his lips and sucked them with firm pressure. Lon raised her legs up and Ed inserted his middle finger in Lon's ass and his thumb in her pussy. This and Ed's sucking mouth on Lon's pussy caused Lon to reach a shattering orgasm. "Oh Baby. Ooh baby, make me cum on your face. I'm cumming baby. Ooh. Suck it faster!" Lon bucked hard against Ed's mouth, grinding her pelvic into his face as though she were trying to take his entire head inside.
Dana had to see this up close. She tipped close enough to see Ed lapping away at Lon's pussy. Lon was rolling both of her nipples as Ed sucked and fingered her simultaneously. Dana leaned forward, put one hand on a nearby box and continued to finger fuck herself as she watched Lon and Ed.
     After Lon climaxed several times, she raised up on the box. The box was tall enough to allow access to Ed's rigid dick. Lon licked Ed's nuts as she stroked his dick with her hands. Dana could see Lon engulf one nut at a time into her mouth as Ed moaned and watched Lon giving him the best head since last night. Lon licked from Ed's nuts to the head of his pulsating dick. She licked all around the head and the crown, and Dana could see Ed's legs shaking. Dana thought, "She's sucking that dick so good. I wish my man were here. Dana reached orgasm after another as she watched Lon take all of Ed's dick down her throat. Dana thinks, "how can she do that? He's got such a large dick." 
     Lon wraps both of her hands around Ed's dick and suck it as though she's starving for what's about to come from inside. She strokes his dick with her hand and her mouth until Ed moans loudly and thrust his dick into Lon's mouth. Lon sensing Ed was about to cum, clamped her strong hands tight around the base of Ed's dick and shuts off the flow. Ed looks down and say, "Come on baby. Don't stop." Ed is nearly wheezing from the pleasure he's getting from Lon. Lon leans back onto the box, and says, "Fuck me hard baby." 
     Ed places Lon's knees on his shoulders and guides his dick inside Lon's pussy. Dana was peeking from a position that allowed her to see Ed slowly inch his dick into Lon's tight and dripping wet pussy. As Ed pumps his dick inside Lon, Dana could see Lon's cum coating Ed's dick before it ran between the cheeks of her ass. Dana stroked her pussy faster, trying to keep up with Ed's rhythm. Dana's thought quickly left her boyfriend and focused onto Lon and Ed. She wondered what it would be like to fuck both of them.
     Ed's ass tightened as he plunged into Lon for one last thrust. Ed began to cum, pumping Lon's pussy faster. Dana reached an orgasm the same time Lon and Ed did. Dana losing her balance fell forward knocking her concealment away. Ed jumped from Lon, turned around and saw Dana standing there. Lon began to laugh loudly as she approached Dana. Lon helped Dana to her feet, and the three of them started laughing hysterically. Dana interrupted the laughter to ask, "What are you two doing this evening?... 

Room 69
By Zane
AOL Screenname: Endeavors
Copyright©1997
From The Sex Chronicles 
All Rights Reserved

I arrived in Charlotte on a Monday night about 9 PM, rented a car at the airport and got checked into the hotel by 10. I was exhausted, it was a cold and rainy night in December and I forgot to pack an overcoat or umbrella before I left Cali so I was soaked and freezing by the time I got in the room. The room they gave me was cozy and had a nice king-size bed. I laughed when the clerk handed me the room key because it had the number 69 on it, which brought all kinds of interesting thoughts into my head. 
I had been to Charlotte before on business trips and always had a boring time in the evenings. I didn't know anyone there outside of business and so, most nights, I would just grab a pizza or sub and eat in the room, do some work on my IBM Thinkpad and go to bed.
There had been one exception. About six months before this particular trip, I had ventured out and gone to breakfast with a man I met at a business meeting. We had a nice breakfast and then he showed me around town in his car, kissed me good-bye on the cheek and that was it.
After I got back home, we talked on the phone quite often and both joked about how the chemistry was there between us and yet, we were both too nervous to act upon it. I told him if I ever ran up on him again, I would fuck his fine ass on sight. He agreed it was definitely a plan of action because he was feenin for me too.
I was so cold and damp when I got in the room , I decided I would just take a warm shower and call him in the morning to discuss the possibilities. Needless to say, that is exactly what I did. I called him the next morning at work and he was elated to hear from me. We made plans to meet up at my hotel after I had completed my business meetings and when he got off work. We planned to go out to dinner around six in the evening.
When I got to the hotel, he was parked in front of my room and leaning on his car awaiting my arrival. I was about ten minutes late because I decided to stop by a drug store and pick up some condoms because there was no way was I gonna let anything disrupt the plans I had to get busy. 
We went into my room and chatted maybe ten minutes, if that, and then it was on. I enjoyed being with him because he was very passionate. He kissed me with conviction and his tongue made me melt. We laid there in each other arms for a good while, just enjoying exploring each other's mouths.
Then, he got up from the bed and turned off the evening news, saying he didn't want any noise distracting our love making. So, the room was completely silent except for the faint noise of the heat escaping from the vents, an occasional car door slamming and the distant clatter of someone getting ice from the machine located in the courtyard.
He came back to the bed and pulled the black, cable-knit sweater I had on up and over my head, removing it. He kissed me again, this time even more sensual than before and I remember thinking he was the greatest kisser I had ever known. I imagined his tongue tracing patterns on my pussy lips and on my clit, inside my pussy walls. Having oral sex performed on me is always the highlight of any love-making session for me. I anxiously awaited the point in time when he would quench his thirst with my nectar and I knew the moment was coming because that was all he ever talked about during our phone conversations. How much he wanted to taste me. I could tell by the way he explored my mouth that he would probably be a prime candidate for the Pussy Eaters Hall of Fame.
He lowered my bra straps and sucked on my nipples, getting to know each one of them up close and personal. I pulled his head up so I could kiss him again because it was such a helluva turn-on. I pushed him on his back and straddled on top of him, letting my breasts dangle over his mouth. He grabbed both my breasts and pushed them together a little roughly and licked all over them at the same time.
I took his tie and shirt off and licked all over his chest, using the tip of my tongue to carve a path from his nipples, down his rippled chest to his belly button, where I paused to dab my tongue in and out of it. I bit gently on his nipples and rubbed then around between my thumbs and forefingers.
I unfastened his belt buckle and pull his pants down and off, untying and removing his shoes during the process. I helped him remove his red silk boxers and started sucking on the head of his dick before they even hit the floor. His dick was so good and I enjoyed feasting on it until he climaxed and his hot cum trickled down my throat, lining my stomach with a warm coating.
The moment had finally arrived because I just knew it was my turn to lay back and relax while he got to know me orally. Boy, was I wrong!
He fell asleep, was calling the fucking hogs after only a blow job and I was pissed. All the anticipation and planning for nothing. I caressed his dick, hoping to arouse him from his slumber but nothing.
It was only about 7 PM at that point and I realized a hard day's work can be draining but, dayum him. He slept until almost eleven, four fucking hours, and when he woke up, I was sitting at the table over by the window going over some figures on my laptop and drinking some wild cherry-flavored spring water.
I just looked at him with disbelief when he told me to come back and join him in bed. Then I figured, oh well, maybe he was just tired and now he was gonna do all the shit he claimed he wanted to do to me on the phone. So, I went back over and lied down on the bed. I had my bra on, having repositioned the straps so my breasts were covered and my black pants and panties were still on cause he hadn't even touched me down there.
Once again, he started in with the kissing but this time, I was not as receptive because the impression was already embedded in my mind that he was not even worth my time or effort. He did the nipple thing again and I was bored.
Finally, he got to the bottom half of my body and started rubbing my vagina through the material of my pants. He pulled them down and off and I was thinking about dayum time. He was finally gonna get busy and eat my coochie coo.
Wrong !!!! He started finger fucking me and I wanted to tell him so badly that finger fucking went out with bell bottoms, afros and platform shoes but I tolerated it, hoping it was all a means to an end.
Once again, I was wrong so I decided to get the whole fucked up situation over with. I got a condom out the box, slapped that shit on him and rode him real fast until his ass came. He had the audacity to try to stop me, grabbing my hips and saying, "I don't want to cum yet!" I wanted to say, "Fuck you!" But that would have been dumb considering I was fucking him, lousy fucking yet fucking all the same.
I finally got his ass out of there about midnight, after explaining to him why he couldn't spend the night due to my early meeting in the morning. I was too through and couldn't believe I built his ass up in my mind to be some black Don Juan when he wasn't bout shit.
You probably think I just took my ass to sleep depressed or went back to crunching numbers on my computer, huh? Nope! My ass was starving since he and I never made it to dinner and I hadn't eaten anything except a bagel with cream cheese about 8 AM. 
I took a shower, got dressed and went to check out this all night diner I had noticed two exits away in the vicinity of the drug store where I brought the condoms. What a joke? I should have left them bad boys in the store and had a V-8 instead.
The diner was practically deserted when I arrived at a quarter to one. It was a Tuesday so most people were home snuggled in for a good night's sleep or making love to their mates or watching late night repeats of talk shows like Jenny Jones and Jerry Springer. If it had been a Friday or Saturday night around the same time, I am sure the place would have been packed with people who developed the munchies after a night at the movies or dancing and drinking at a club.
There were only a few other people scattered around at the tables. Some black guy over in the corner suffering from an obvious case of jungle fever, a couple of teenage boys laughing loudly and trying to see which one of them could be more obnoxious than the other and a black guy in a booth by the window who appealed to me right away.
Why he appealed to me, I am not sure. He was attractive, sure, but I see attractive men all day every day. Maybe I was just still feeling horny, sexually repressed even. I still couldn't believe that man talked mad shit about how he was gonna turn my ass out and managed to do nothing but turn my ass off.
The guy in the booth was very nicely built though and looked very friendly. I sat there sizing his ass up while I waited for some ditzy waitress named Becky to bring my grilled chicken breast sandwich with fries I had ordered. He was mocha with dark eyes, a sexy mouth and juicy ass lips. I imagined drawing the bottom one into my mouth and sucking on it and found myself wondering whether or not he had a big dick.
I snapped out of it though when Becky slammed my plate down, with no tact at all, and asked if I wanted a refill on my iced tea. I was tripping, sitting there fantasizing about freaking some man who had only stopped by a diner to get a bite to eat and wasn't thinking about my ass. Or was he?
As I was sitting there hitting the hell out of this bottle of slow ass Hunt's ketchup to no avail, I felt his eyes on me and looked up. Sure enough, he was staring dead at me. He smiled at me and I smiled back and the wheels starting turning in my head. I began to ponder exactly how scandalous it would make me if I picked this guy up and whether it would classify me as a certified hoochie if I did, when he got up from his table, placed a tip on it and headed towards the front door.
I let out a sigh of relief, knowing the ball was no longer in my corner since he was taking his ass home and going to bed. The night turned out to be full of surprises though because he paused at the door, which his hand was holding half way open allowing a cool breeze to come in, and then turned around and headed straight towards my table.
My heart started pounding a mile a minute. The shit was un-fucking-believable. He came up to me and said, "Excuse me. You have a minute?" 
I looked up at him and managed to utter one word, "Sure!" He sat down across from me and just stared me in the eyes and I was a nervous wreck. He just sat there grinning at me for what seemed like an eternity but, in actuality, couldn't have been more than a couple minutes.
Finally, he asked, "Aren't you gonna eat?" I told him my appetite was gone and I thought I was hungry when I placed my order but it was much too late at night for me to actually eat. It was all bullshit but there was no freaking way I was gonna have him sitting there watching me chew my food.
He and I started chatting about whatever. I told him about my career and he explained how he was stationed nearby in the military and he had just gotten back to the states from a long assignment in Panama. 
Then, he just happened to mention the fact he hadn't had any pussy in a good while and wondered if he could have some of mine. I freaked. My first instinct was to cuss his ass out but, I didn't. Instead I asked him what he meant by "have some". He wanted to know what the hell I was talking about and I decided if his ass could be blunt like that, my ass could do the same thing.
So, I laid it out for him and told him how I expected this turn-my-ass-out, toe-curling sexual experience and what had really happened instead. I told him how much I love my pussy eaten and how I felt like the shit I did a few hours before wasn't even fucking because the man didn't do anything but go downtown to window shop. Then I asked him whether or not he just goes downtown to window shop or does he actually purchase something.
He started laughing because of the way I had phrased it so I asked him did the laugh mean he wasn't about shit either. He leaned closer to me over the table, took my hand and adamantly stated he loved to eat pussy and would love to eat mine. Again, I froze because I couldn't believe this shit was happening. I left California to go on a 'business' trip and all I was worried about was having my coochie eaten.
After a few moments of silence, he inquired whether I was fronting or not. The man was dead serious about going down on me. He told me he would follow me back to my hotel room in his car and lick me clean. I couldn't help but blush. Normally, I would have hauled ass and ran for the hills but there was something about him. He had such a friendly disposition and seemed like a good old country boy who would eat me like a pot of chitterlings with Tabasco sauce.
I pondered and pondered while he waited and waited for a response, telling me to make sure I was comfortable with it before I made a final decision. Becky kept coming over asking if we wanted anything else and we both repeatedly said no. I think she was just being nosy because, as empty as the place was, she knew we didn't come in together and figured there was some freaky shit going on.
Finally, I decided I was a grown woman and, hell yeah, I did want my pussy eaten, was feenin for it even so I told him to bring it on. He paid my check at the counter, left Becky a tip and walked me to my car, asking one more time if I was sure and I told him I was very sure.
He followed me back to the room and he chuckled when he saw the number on the door. It was 3 AM in the fucking morning. Once inside, he told me straight up he wanted to see me naked so I took my clothes off since there was no point in turning back.
I got butt naked and got up on the bed and embarked upon the wildest oral experience I have ever had. The man was all about the pussy and was a beast. First, he sniffed all around it like a predator in the woods, seeking out some prey. He told me how much he loved my aroma and was glad I was clean. I asked him were there some women who really had bad personal hygiene habits and he replied with a loud, "Hell Yeah!", telling me how sometimes he could smell a woman's pussy when he walked by her on the street because the odor was so strong and funky. I could do nothing but laugh and tell him I was glad I passed the inspection.
Then came the interesting part. Instead of just spreading my legs open and cleaning my clock, he positioned himself beside me on the bed, lifting my right leg up in the air and putting my thigh up on his back with his head facing towards my left thigh instead of directly at my clit. He lifted my left leg up in the air and pushed it outward so that my legs were spread wide apart and started eating me.
Boy, did he eat! All I can say is the man was starving like Marvin and I lost count of how many times I came. He was not lying cause he loved eating some pussy, unlike the sexually disappointing fuck who had been on the very same bed not long before. After awhile though, my left leg which was hanging out there in the air, started getting tired so I put it down on the bed and he immediately pushed it back up and told me to hold it there.
I was not used to holding my leg up like that because normally the man's shoulders would be holding them both up. Instead, his back was holding up my right one and it was mad comfortable but, my left leg was having problems. He unzipped his jeans and guided my hand to his dick and I started jacking him off, even though that wasn't in the contract. It was cool though because I was kind of lying there with nothing to do with my hands so what the hell.
He ate and ate and I jacked and jacked and he ate some more until the moment of truth arrived and he detonated. Scared me shitless too because he came so hard and made these sounds like a fucking animal. Never in life have I seen anything like that before or since.
He passed out right there, head in between my legs with the right one still resting comfortably on his back and the left one cramped up but holding it's own since it could finally lie flat on the bed. 
The shit was too wild and I wasn't about to go to sleep, not knowing a dayum thing about the man, so I flipped through cable channels all night with the remote while he drooled on my pussy and enjoyed his slumber.
At 7 AM, I told him I needed to get ready for a meeting and he woke up, turned over onto his back and started rubbing all over his own chest and up and down the shaft of his dick. I thought to myself, "Oh shit! Now his freaky ass is gonna masturbate in front of me!"
He did play with himself until he came and I watched it because it was sort of interesting and a woman doesn't get to see such a command performance often. Then, he got up and asked me did I want his number and I replied with a sure, why not?
So he wrote it inside a matchbook cover with the hotel name imprinted on it and I saw him to the door. I couldn't believe I had done that shit but, bottom line, the first guy wasn't bout it and I got what I craved in the end and it was all good.
I took yet another shower, threw on a navy business suit, went to my meetings, grabbed a pizza on my way back to the hotel, ignored the messages the clerk gave me from the lousy ass fuck who was all talk and no action and went to bed.
I flew back to Cali the next day, none the worse for wear and now, I am sitting here writing my scandalous, yet sexually fulfilling, escapade down in my journal. It may be a long ass time before I have something this interesting to write in here again. Then again, maybe not! The fact of the matter is, as wild as it was, I truly relished it so I have learned my lesson. Before that night, I would have told any and everyone I would never do something freaky like that. The lesson I have learned is never say never again.




I HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THE APRIL ISSUE OF ENDEAVORS EROTICA NEWSLETTER.
I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU NEXT MONTH.

PEACE AND MUCH LOVE,
ZANE

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