Welcome to the August 2000 Issue of Zane's Erotica Noir!

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IN THIS ISSUE

ANNOUNCEMENTS

CINNAMON by K-JiO

JOKES

DIRTY WORD by ASHA COVINGTON

WHY WE ALL NEED TO VOTE IN NOVEMBER

ANNOUNCEMENTS

I am pleased to announce that EroticaNoir.com logged more than half a million visitors since January 20th of this year and more than thirty million page views.  I am elated because it makes all of my effort seem worthwhile.

Over the past month, I have done some serious housecleaning and additions to EroticaNoir.com.  There is now a joke section, a banner page, an announcement page, a non-erotic features section, a book recommendation section and an erotic story of the day.  That's right.  You can log onto EroticaNoir and read a new story every single day of the year.  The features sections has also been redesigned so that you can locate poems and stories by your favorite writers more easily and discover new ones.  The features section is truly growing.  There have also been more bachelors and bachelorettes added during the last thirty days and new faces are always welcome. I have a new story on the site as well: Breaking the Cycle (a story I wrote about domestic abuse) http://www.eroticanoir.com/cycle.html   You can get to all of the above from the EroticaNoir.com main page.

The following web sites are running contests giving away my books: Daily Diva.com: http://www.dailydiva.com and The Healthy Sisters Network: http://www.healthysisters.com

In the future, other web sites will be running contests as well.  With that said, I have decided to run a contest myself.  The one section of EroticaNoir.com that has not grown considerably over the past few months is the Real Life Sex Experiences Section.  I know there are a bunch of freaky people on my mailing list so where are the submissions?  My birthday is September 18th so from today through my birthday, I want you to email me with the freakiest or sexiest thing you have ever done and yes, I want details.  All names will be withheld and the winning entry will be featured in my September e-zine.  The winner will also win a free copy of The Sex Chronicles (a $22 value).  Please send all entries to me at: zane@eroticanoir.com with CONTEST in the subject line.  I will give away a copy of Addicted in October.

Comments about Addicted:

Addicted is a story of deep down true love with a tightly woven plot, characters that teach you to never say never and more than enough sex to steam your reading glasses. Zane's writing style and surprise twists makes her novel a refreshing read!
Linda Dominique Grosvenor, author of SOMETIMES I CRY


A tantalizing tale of sex and obsession! Graphic and well-written, Zane paints a vivid portrait of a woman driven by carnal desires to the detriment of all she holds dear. With sweat-slinging love scenes and enticing erotic encounters, Addicted will hold you completely captive until the very last page. Don't miss it! Tracy Price-Thompson, author of BLACK COFFEE

If you order either The Sex Chronicles or Addicted, I will give you free shipping and handling plus your choice of a pack of flavored condoms or a bottle of flavored nipple drops. The Sex Chronicles is $22.00 (344 pages)and Addicted is $20.00 (270 pages). You can send your check or money order to: Strebor Books International, PO Box 10127, Silver Spring, MD 20914. In addition, if you would like to order both books, you can get them for $40.00 and I will send you both a pack of condoms and the nipple drops. You can email me at zane@eroticanoir.com for more details. An excerpt from Addicted can be read at: http://www.eroticanoir.com/addicted.html

If you are one of the thousands that peeped The Punany Project on HBO's Real Sex 24, I am happy to announce that the episode is being repeated this month.  You can catch it on HBO East August 31st at 12:05 AM.  

I will be doing a virtual chat on September 7th at 10:00 PM EST on the Prolific Writers web site.  I hope that you will mark your calendars and join me. I will be discussing my novels and giving hints and suggestions about breaking into the writing business.  You can bookmark the site now and I look forward to it.   http://www.prolificwriters.org

The Miss Ebony Doll competition will begin on January 1, 2001. Based on the highly successful Miss Latin Doll contest (http://www.latindoll.com), the competition is open to all women of color 18 and older in the U.S. and throughout the world.
We are currently seeking contestants and sponsors for this event. The Ebony Doll web site is located at http://www.ebonydoll.com.
For further information, please contact:
Charles Gross
President
Latin Doll Ventures, Inc.
info@ebonydoll.com
718-338-7561

SPARK IT UP SPORTSWEAR
presents....
The Ms. Black Nude USA pageant.
The pageant will be held on February 8, 2001 in Washington DC.
The dates for the preliminaries will be announced shortly
For information, mail requests to:
Ms Black Nude Pageant
P.O. Box 6883
Largo MD, 20792
or call: You can also call 202-777-2645 x2462

JOKES

Roy the Rooster

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Roy. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Roy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So,he buys Roy.

The farmer takes Roy home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk, "Roy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer says, with a chuckle. Roy seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Roy takes off like a shot.

WHAM! - Roy nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Roy is in there. Later, the farmer sees Roy after a flock of geese, down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - he gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Roy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants.

The Nastiest Joke of 2000

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day. They saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates and then quickly replies, "Umm...they are making cakes." The next day, they are at the zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again, she asks her mother, "What are they doing?" Her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day, the girl says to her mother, "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, huh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" The little girl replies, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

Honey, Do Anything He Wants:

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound-up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!" "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!"

DIRTY WORD by ASHA COVINGTON

AshaCovington@hotmail.com

Chapter One

Bald. That's the way he liked her. He spread her thick legs open with his thumbs like an unconscious habit and rested each of her thighs on his shoulders as he brushed the bristly stubble on his chin up and down against her bald moist submission until her throbbing appreciation swole against his lips slightly. She likes to watch, he thought, reaching for the thin bottle of hot sauce.
“We’re gonna play a game,” he said as he rested the palm of his hand on her taut stomach and leaned her back onto the bed. He spread open the lips of her vagina with one hand and dripped the red liquid on her throbbing clit and observed as she dug her fingernails into the goose down pillows and made fists. She arched her back pleasurably.
"It tingles..."
"I got it baby," he dove down sucking her firm erect flesh in and out like an atomic hot wing with blue cheese running down the sides, his lips on fire.
"Ahh yeah, like that boo," she'd smash his face closer wiggling to the edge of the bed telling him, "keep sucking it baby, okay?" as she rocked steady, grinding her hips in his face at an angle, twitching every now and then.
He couldn't speak with a mouthful of her. Her hairless piece of heaven in his mouth laying sacrificially on his tongue as he darted it in and out of her quickly until she was good, red ripe and wet enough for him to slid in effortlessly. He glanced up, amused at the crazed look on her face.
“No, don’t stop. A little longer, please…cmon..” she begged and opened her legs wider allowing him to lick her from top to bottom with longer strokes, her scent all over his face.
Her first, him second. That's the way it's always been. She'd come at least twice and would probably be still coming with evidence trickling down her inner thigh when he'd do like he always did and bend her over on all fours, spank her, part her plump cheeks, use his two fingers to open her wide, with his iron hard erection pulsing by the minute as he got an eye full of her magnificently tight hole that had always gripped him and wouldn't let him escape until the job was done, then he'd take her from behind, long and deep.
He liked riding her clit and nudging her g-spot that researchers were still saying didn't exist. She loved the friction of his coarse hairs against her sensitive spot.  He knew how to get her off. He held her thick lips open wide while he penetrated her slowly then thrusted her hard and steady without mercy, hanging on to her jiggling breasts while her head bobbed over the edge of the bed. She liked how he did her so much that if he forgot how it was done she'd crouch down and hold herself open for him, pleading and urging him with gyrating movements to "go deeper." Chet was glad she wasn't one of those women who thought that being a lady meant lying in bed like a cold dead fish.
Jewel said that he was the main reason she stayed stress free. Sex. She'd smile and tell him to let her ride his flag pole.
"You fill me up baby," she'd say. "I can do this all night, riding your thickness, you?"
He always nodded because he had never met a woman as freaky as he was. The only thing she never did, which he wished she would on occasion was use dirty words. "Tell me what you want me to do to you," he'd demand when he spanked her with an open palm, the way she liked. She said it stung a little, but she never uttered a word that was profane. Never. And she swore she never would.


In love? Nah, she didn't care one way or the other. While women everywhere were trying to get sparkly diamond rings, bridal gift registries and dyeable cheap pointy satin shoes to help their corns along, Jewel was eager to do nothing more than get rocked right on a Friday night listening to some Me’shell NdegeOcello or The Brand New Heavies  then send him and his servicing tool home so she could fart and color her graying pubic hairs in private without some over eager Do Right Man trying to cuddle afterwards. That was last night. Now she found herself wishing for at least 2 more meager hours in the day so she could pack for her trip, visit with her dad and go by Chet’s for a hot minute and get broke off something lovely, again.
She knew she wouldn’t have time, so at 1 a.m. she finally finished folding casual outfits, placing them neatly in her carry-on, popped the tags off a few pairs of new panties, slid her electronic organizer in the side pocket, tossed a good book on top, zipped it up quickly and headed for the 24 hour copy shop before she journeyed over to LAX. A week was a long time when a girl was used to getting it on a daily. She did 80 down the long stretch of highway with the wind in her hair and her shades pressing against her face.
With unimaginable confidence she gave the copy shop the once over as she walked in under the huge blue Open 24 Hours sign. The customer service rep nodded as she made her way to the copy machine in the far corner out of sight from passersby and any lurking personnel. Jewel rested her bag on another nearby copy machine, entered the electronic key, pressed one zero, lifted the machine’s lid, stepped out of her panties, hiked up her skirt and straddled the copy machine.
She was sure that Chet would get the bonafied erection of a lifetime and stroke his meat himself until he erupted when he saw a copy of her clit mashed down onto plain white paper photocopied in different poses. She’d send him a few copies, some for work, home, one for the briefcase on the ride to and from when he’s stuck in traffic and some others to take with him when he was on a coffee break or retrieving his personals out of his gym locker after he’s done bench pressing one twenty. She didn’t know. He could lick them if he wanted; make it come to life. That suited her just fine too. She knew the feeling. She had been caught out there needing her fix on occasion.
There was nothing worse than going away on business to a vacation resort. She knew that she’d spend the whole tropical week sipping some watered down version of a wannabe drink watching couples in the sand grinding into oblivion. She also knew that she’d be the one standing silently in the stillness of the night alone in her room listening to the moans, quickened breath and sweat induced grunts as couples got down and dirty on the towering balcony overlooking the ocean with legs dangling over the edge dangerously after midnight when they thought no one was watching. She’d be feeling nostalgic and miss Chet in all his tribal glory, she thought as she slid down off of the copy machine, fumbled the copies into a prepaid envelope, reached for her bag and rolled her eyes at the rep who was stretching his neck trying to figure out what she was up to the whole time. She gave him the electronic counter and rested on her elbows at the register desk and he rang up the cost of her copies. She handed him a ten and he gave her change. She reached into the envelope retrieving one sheet of paper and proudly handed him an eyeful of her marvelous flesh in exchange and giggled tipping her shades on the way out as she gloried in the fact that she had given him his fill of pleasure for the day. With that she did an about face, balled up her panties in her hand, pushed them down in the envelope, licked, sealed and dumped the Express package in the blue mailbox box curbside.
People who couldn’t get beyond her surface could go hang gliding into the Grand Canyon for all she cared. She wasn’t the type of woman who needed people in her corner clapping and tapping their feet saying that she did good or that they were proud of her while they patted her on the head and said congratulations or gave her an award. She knew that the same uptight chicas that ridiculed her for being brave enough to be open with her sexuality were more than likely lonely as hell and off in their own bedrooms at 9 o’clock at night with their blinds drawn tightly while they repeatedly satisfied themselves with a jumbo cucumber dipped in olive oil taking it like a pro and making audible sounds proving that they enjoyed it just as if it was a hot blooded man ramming them. No, she didn’t care about the eyes or the surprise in their voices when she told them the only thing a man could do for her. She wanted one thing from men and one thing only. Sex. They could keep their dirty money and their hearts.
Jewel squirmed impatiently and sat with her seatbelt fastened. She waited approximately 10 minute after take off, leaned over and eyed the lights of the fading city below, then made her way to the restroom with her purse securely under her arm the minute the fasten seatbelts sign went off. She entered the restroom and closed the door quickly behind her.
“I’m fiending for you baby,” she said out loud, closed her eyes and unzipped her purse.
She pulled her dress up over her hips and draped it over her right arm, then with her leg propped up on the toilet seat, she rested her left hand on the wall behind her to keep her balance while she squatted to part her lips a little and maneuvered the thick pale colored instrument into her creamy anticipating hole and rode deep on clit friction overdrive for about 5 minutes. She stood weakly twisting and thrusting franticly before she finally rested the tip of it deep inside, threw her head back and refused to move it as it vibrated on her spot. She hated coming quick, so she always prolonged it by almost reaching her peak then removing her toy from her eager moistness for a second or two and then eased it back inside to pick up where she’d left off. She was feeling red ripe and swollen now and was about to handle her ejaculation like a man until someone came rapping on the restroom door.
“Are you okay in there?”
She didn’t want to answer them initially but she knew that if she didn’t they’d keep knocking.
“Uh-huh…” she managed while trying not to lose momentum or allow them to detect the self-gratification she was giving herself.
She bowed her head and faster and more vigorously she inserted and withdrew her toy poking and prodding deeper inside her tightness, taking it all and loving every inch of it until she felt a gush burst from her juicy overly compliant walls and her legs trembled leaving her standing lifelessly. Like a lady she smiled in the mirror, straightened her dress, rinsed off her tools, dried them, zipped up its carrying case, unlocked the door, squeezed passed questioning faces and walked her pantiless behind swiftly back to her seat still as her plump lips protected a trembling clit that still wasn’t done and needed just a little more.

Asha's book will be out in February 2001.  For more information, please visit her site at: http://www.homestead.com/dirtyword/

WHY WE ALL NEED TO VOTE IN NOVEMBER

The great state of Texas (Courtesy of Lynn Ahrens)

* The State of Texas, under the leadership of

* Governor George W. Bush, is ranked:

* 50th in spending for teachers' salaries

* 49th in spending on the environment

* 48th in per-capita funding for public health

* 47th in delivery of social services

* 42nd in child-support collections

* 41st in per-capita spending on public education

* 5th in percentage of population living in poverty

* 1st in air and water pollution

* 1st in percentage of poor working parents without insurance

* 1st in percentage of children without health insurance

* 1st in executions (avg. 1 every 2 weeks for Bush's 5 years)

* Just think of what he could do for the country if he were president.

ENOUGH SAID!

This concludes the August 2000 issue of Zane's Erotica Noir. See you in September.

PEACE AND MUCH LOVE,

Zane