Zane's Erotica Noir eMonthly
August 1999

Hello Everyone,

As promised in my last issue which was 50-11 days ago I might add, I have decided to go back to a more instructional format with the newsletters. The next couple of issues will be strictly instructional. Then, I will return to the jokes, links to various websites and other regular features. I apologize for the delay in the newsletter but some sexually repressed individual felt the need to report me to AOL within an hour after I mass mailed the last one. While AOL gave me a hard time, they eventually saw things my way since I was not guilty of spamming and all the other things the sexually repressed idiot accused me of. In fact, they told me I could continue to send it out. They put a note on my account that any further reports about my newsletter should be dismissed because basically, all that I was accused of was complete bull. This is an optional newsletter. If somehow you ended up on my list and don't wish to be here (which would be a miracle at this point since everyone on my list has either been on it for more than a year or requested in writing to be put on here), just be an adult and let me know. I can take it but why must people always try to pull other people back down and report them like we are children?

While I planned to send this month's newsletter out from my new domain, I had problems with Netscape Communicator so I am going to go ahead and send it from AOL one last time. If anyone knows how to do a mass mailing from Communicator or even better, has a mass mailer program I can use, I would much appreciate it.

I am now the proud owner of www.eroticanoir.com. My web sites are under construction and I will let everyone know when they are completed. From now on, all correspondence to my mailing list will come from zane@eroticanoir.com. That is, when I figure out how to send it from zane@eroticanoir.com. However, I can still be reached at Endeavors@aol.com. Secondly, the newsletters will now be called Zane's Erotica Noir. 

If you would like to be added to my mailing list, please email me at either address and request it. The same goes if you would like to be removed. With that said, welcome to Zane's Erotica Noir-August 1999.

This issue is totally dedicated to women, my homegurls, sistahgurls, sister-in-arms. Next month, it will be totally dedicated to men but for now, the sistahs are have some problems that need to be addressed. Namely, they aren't cumming quite as much as they should be. In fact, some are not cumming at all.

I have received countless emails from women wanting to know how they can obtain or increase their orgasms. While the men are partially to blame, so are the women. I mean let's face it and just throw the shit right on out there. What's the point of having sex if it gives you no pleasure?

Let me begin by asking the women five simple sets of questions and ladies be honest with yourselves.

1) When you look at or think of your body, do you feel comfortable with it? Are you nervous about being naked in front of a man?

2) When your partner suggests that you do something different sexually, are you eager to try it out or does the idea of changing your routine make you angry or uncomfortable? When was the last time you tried something new, and who suggested it, you or your partner?

3) Do you feel masturbation is the key to a healthy, satisfying sex life or simply too gross to get into? Do you feel comfortable with your outlook on masturbation?

4) Is an orgasm something you can take or leave as long as the sex feels good? Is it something you absolutely must have or the sex is worthless without one? Is it something only other people seem to have?

5) Are you comfortable initiating sex? When was the last time you did?

If your answers are what I suspect they are, you should try some or all of the 20 activities and suggestions listed below. Even if you feel you are the bomb diggity in bed and make can make a man scream out your name in 42 different languages, a little brushing up wouldn't hurt.

20 Activities And Suggestions For Women To Do That Will Enhance Their Sex Lives

1) Study your own body and learn to appreciate it. Stand in front of a full-length mirror naked, examine each part of your body and find at least two positive comments each one. Don't criticize your body, praise it even if it is not as perfect as you wish.

2) Do Kiegel exercises to strengthen your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle, the same one that controls the flow of urine. Contract, hold briefly and then relax the PC muscle 10 times in a row, 10 times a day, everyday. It is the same muscle that contracts during orgasm and the exercises will result in more intense contractions and pleasure. It will also enable you to grip your man's penis with your vagina during sex bringing him more pleasure.

3) If you are nervous about having an intense orgasm in front of a man for fear of orgasm, practice while you are alone. Don't actually masturbate. Forget about being ladylike and lose your inhibitions. Moan, groan, scratch at the sheets and let it all go. 

4) Learn to prolong your orgasms by masturbating as long as you can take it before allowing yourself to get off. Bring yourself to the brink, then stop and work yourself way up again. This exercise will give you a more intense orgasm. Incidentally, this same exercise works well for men during masturbation. 

5) Masturbate in front of a mirror and once you feel comfortable looking at yourself doing it, take it to the next level and masturbate in front of your man. He's guaranteed to love it.

6) If the missionary position is just not cutting it for you, try new positions such as you on top or doggie style. While on top, you can control pressure and speed while the doggie style position allows your clitoris to be stimulated more easily.

7) Turn on the lights. Stop hiding in the dark. Make love to your man with the lights on and keep your eyes open so you can witness everything from the way he sucks on you to the way he looks when he cums. Trust me, you'll enjoy it.

8) Ask your man to strip for you so you can visually imagine doing him before the actual act. If he refuses to actually shake his ass to music, lay back on the bed and watch him slowly undress instead.

9) Can we say vibrator? A vibrator is a great investment and you can buy one almost anywhere. In most drug stores, they call them personal massagers but they are on the shelves. Will the use of a vibrator enhance your sexual pleasure once you are with a mate. Hell yeah! Get your buzz on!

10) If you have a current sex partner, divide a page into two columns. In one column, write down all of the things you enjoy about your lovemaking. In the other column, write down all of the things you dislike. If you are between men, list the items as it pertains to your previous partners. Once you write it all down, make an effort not to repeat the things you dislike and increase the amount of time you spend on the ones you enjoy.

11) If you are afraid to talk nasty to your man in bed, try this. The next time you are with him, choose a body part and think of as many names as you can to name it. (i.e., dick, tits, balls and ass). Then say them out loud to your lover and have him do the same with a body part of his choice. Once you can say these words without being embarrassed, you can incorporate them into your sex and tell him exactly what you want him to do to you.

12) Keep an orgasm diary. Every time you have an orgasm, with or without a partner, write down exactly what was going through your mind when you came. For women, orgasms are often a mental climax so knowing what thoughts and images turn you on are important.

13) Sexual fetishes are not only for men. Most women have fetishes whether they recognize them or not. Figure out what yours are and stop missing out on the opportunities to experience intense pleasure.

14) Ask your partner to suck on your fingers to show you how much suction he's like on his dick. Then suck on his finger and ask him if you got it right. In return, run your tongue on the back of his hand to illustrate the way you like to be licked and then have him lick the back of your hand to see if he has it right. After this, oral sex should be the bomb diggity.

15) Show your man your g-spot. Face it, if he doesn't know then it is up to you to show him. If you don't know where it is, then you are in serious trouble.

16) Remember that you have just as much right to an orgasm as he does. When your man touches you in a manner and you like it, ask for more. When he touches you in a manner your don't like, tell him straight up that you don't want him to do it again. 

17) Be aggressive. If a man gets easily intimidate by it or his ego is fragile, then the two of you are probably not compatible. Don't feel guilty about asking for more sex if you need it. He would most certainly ask you so initiate the act when you are in the mood. Don't wait for him to do it. In other words, jump his bones.

18) Invest in some sexy lingerie. The white cotton bras and grandma drawers are okay to wear on occasion but get you some really sexual, naughty stuff to wear underneath your clothes, whether you plan on throwing down that day or not. When you feel sexy, you are sexy. Always remember that.

19) Don't believe the hype! Some women and men for that matter feel that bad sex is better than no sex. That's bullshit, pardon my French. Bad sex is not better than no sex because bad sex only serves one purpose, to compound negative feelings. If your lover is a bad lover, dump him and masturbate if need be until you find a lover who can satisfy you. Why should you satisfy a man who isn't satisfying you.

20) Last but definitely not least, don't automatically assume that the only thing men want is sex. Sure, there are a lot of pitbulls and great danes, even a couple of French poodles who swing both ways, out there on the dating scene but for the most part, men want the same thing we do. A stable, loving relationship so don't be afraid to love like you've never been hurt.

Listed below are 15 Things A Woman Can Do For Her Man That Will Also Turn Her On 

1) Lie in the middle of your dining room table and tell him that dinner is served.

2) Next time he seems too distracted or disinterested in getting busy, get rid of the distraction by dancing nude for him.

3) Tie him to the bedposts or to a chair and have your way with him.

4) Join him in the shower and wash every inch of his body slowly and sensuously and then lick each other dry.

5) Write him erotic notes and hide them in his car, briefcase or lunchbox so that when he finds them, they will be sure to brighten up his day.

6) Meet him in a public place and wear nothing but lace panties and an overcoat.

7) Take nude pictures of him. Better yet, make a movie with him but you keep the only copy in case you break up. :-)

8) Serve him dinner in the nude and be his dessert.

9) Insist that he makes love to you on the weekend for at least the amount of time he spends in his office during the week. That's right, eight hours or more and see if he is up to the challenge.

10) Call him right before he comes over to see you or while he is at the office and tell him all of the things you plan to do to him he gets there.

11) Read him an erotic story (i.e., one written by Zane :-) and see if he can make it to the end without fucking you on the spot.

12) Ask him what his fantasies are and if they turn you on, do them.

13) Jack him off and look into his eyes the entire time.

14) Blindfold him and suck his dick for at least an hour but don't let him cum until you ride his dick while the blindfold is still on.

15) For five days in a row, mail him a different item of clothing. A bra, a garter belt, a pair of panties, a pair of lace top hose and a tight dress. Once he gets them all, invite him over to put them all on you and then take them off.

How To Tell If A Man Is Bad In Bed

1) If he can't kiss good or is a rough kisser, he will be inconsiderate and rough in bed.

2) If his kisses are quick, short-lived and aggressive, he more than likely won't last long in bed or will rush the act.

3) If he spends a lot of time talking about how good he is in bed, he probably can't fuck worth a damn. Real men just step up to the plate and do it.

4) If he is tacky outside of the bedroom, his bedroom manners will reflect the same traits.

5) If he tries to force your hear down to his genital area or becomes demanding, you need to kick his ass to the curb because it will be the same way ten years from now.

12 New Kama Sutra Sexual Positions To Experiment With From Cosmo's September 1999 Issue. For those who want to see illustrations, buy the magazine :-)

Degree of Difficulty
1-3 Simply Sexy
4-6 Tantalizingly twisty
7-9 Ecstasy experts only
10 Orgasmic Olympics

1) Romp with a View
Degree of Difficulty-7
Lie on your side, one arm propping up your head or bent under your body for support. Keep one leg stretched out along the floor and extend the other straight up in the air perpendicular to your body. Your partner then straddles your grounded leg and enters you, holding your other leg up or letting it rest against your shoulder for leverage, whichever feels best.
This position gives you a great view of the action. Your man can penetrate you in up-and-down motions instead of regular back-and-forth thrusting.

2) The Mermaid
Degree of Difficulty-6
Lie down on the edge of a bed, desk or countertop. Extend your legs straight up, keeping them close together. You can put your hands under your butt to elevate your pelvis, use them to hold on to the counter or desk for leverage, or keep them free. Your man then enters you while standing up or kneeling if the place you are laying is low. He can grip your feet for leverage, which will give him the extra stability he needs to thrust more deeply.
Keeping your legs together means he seems fuller inside you, creating a lot of friction and an incredibly tight fit. 

3) Face-to-Face Fandango
Degree of Difficulty-7
Lie on the floor face-up, legs bent under your thighs, arms raised over your head. Have your man lie on top of you face-to-face, his legs straight, his hands gripping your shoulders or sides. He can penetrate you with wide, circular motions or deep, up-and-down thrusting.
With your legs bent under and your arms straight over your head, your back will naturally arch a bit, letting your man penetrate you deeply. But unlike other deep-access positions, you can look at each other, kiss and he can play with your breasts with his hands of tongue, tripling your pleasure.

4) Twirl-A-Girl
Degree of Difficulty-4
Your man lis on his back, his legs spread slightly, his head propped up with a pillow. Swing your legs over his body crosswise and keep them close together so your legs are positioned perpendicular to his. Sit on top of his thigh or his lap, then lean back on your arms for support. Open your legs slightly as he enters you, and begin making slow, swiveling, corkscrew motions.
In this position, he can watch you move against his penis. Plus, his free hands can strike your breasts or clitoris to give you a great orgasm.

5) The Dragon
Degree of Difficulty-4
Lie on your stomach, arms raised above your head, legs spread slightly, a pillow or two placed under your pubic bone. Your partner stretches his body over yours and enters you mimicking the position you're in. Instead of fast from-behind thrusting, he uses a circular, swirling motion.
The circular stimulation will slowly electrify your entire vagina, bringing on subtle yet superstrong orgasms. Since there is little movement with this position, it is a good way to delay his climax if he is prone to cumming quickly.

6) The Rock N' Roll
Degree of Difficulty-4
Lie on the floor or bed and bring your knees up to your chin. Your man enters you as he would in the missionary position while you rest your lower legs on his shoulders. Hold his upper arms for leverage while he grips your hips and begins thrusting inside you.
This position is great because of the deep-thrusting capabilities and the ability to engage in deep passionate kisses while in the act.

7) The Spider Web
Degree of Difficulty-5
You and your man lie on your sides, facing each other. Lean in and scissor your legs. While thrusting, hold on close to each other for leverage and to create superclose friction.
Sexual scissoring lets you please each other with grinding, circular motions. It is also great for G-spot access. This position is also a good one for fondling his balls.

8) The Figure Eight
Degree of Difficulty-3
Lie on the floor face-up, a couple of pillows propping up your butt. Keep your knees half-bent, your legs splayed wide, and your arms high over your head or holding on to his side so that your body feels extremely open. Let him enter you at a higher angle than usual, planting his hands on the floor beside your head. He moves inside you in slow, languid figure-eight motions, his penis gliding against your vaginal wall while his pubic bone grazes your clitoris.
This is great because you gain pleasure from his penis rubbing your walls and his pubic bone rubbing your clitoris. Being on the pillow also makes him hitting the G-spot much easier.

9) Couch Canoodle
Degree of Difficulty-10
Your partner sits back on a couch or a comfy chair. As you straddle his lap with your legs splayed apart, your knees bent up against his chest, lean back so you're almost upside-down, your arms stretched behind you(all the way to the floor) to support your weight. Thrust back and forth, opening and closing your legs and clamping your PC muscles around him. (See, those Kegel Exercises I mentioned in Part One do come in handy :-) When you are ready for him to cum, squeeze your PC muscles when he is completely inside of you and see what happens.
Since you control the speed and timing, you can treat yourself to the exact motions that make you reach orgasm.

10) Straddle His Saddle
Degree of Difficulty-3
Your man sits on the floor, his arms stretched out behind him for support and his legs crossed Indian-style. Climb onto his lap so you're straddling him in a kneeling position. Hold onto his shoulders as you lower yourself onto his dick. Alternate between slow, shallow strokes and deep thrusts and then move in circular motions. Let's just say, this is a good one and gets my vote:-)

11) The Backstairs Boogie
Degree of Difficulty-6
Kneel in front of your partner at the landing of a staircase, both of you facing the stairs, your bodies meshed tightly. While you reach up and hold onto each side of the staircase for support(or the stairs themselves) he holds your hips and penetrates you from behind.
This position allows a man to enter you at an upward tilt, allowing him access to your G-spot.

12) The Octopus
Degree of Difficulty-8
Your man sits on the floor, his hands on the ground behind him, his legs splayed open, knees slightly bent. While keeping your hands on the floor for support, you face him, then straddle his lap, raising your legs so your right leg rests on his left shoulder. Keep your bodies close together so he doesn't slip out. 
Not only does he get an eagle's eye view of everything, this is also a great G-spot stimulator.

For those of you not yet into Tantric Sex and the Kama Sutra, I would suggest you try the Yoni (Clit) Massage and the Lingam (Dick) Massage. Here are links to the instructions. Trust me, if you and your partner do them on each other, your sex life will never be the same. I had one man email me to tell me that his woman actually squirted like a man does when she came while he performed the yoni on her. 

The Yoni Massage Tantric Sex: Yoni 
The Lingam Massage Tantra: Lingam Massage 

Sex Toys For Women

I am not going to list and describe a bunch of sexual devices because as always, I am running out of room and I think I covered them in a previous newsletter. I just want to say that there are plenty of items on the market then can enhance a woman's sexual pleasure. Everything from vibrators and dildos to Ben Wa balls and vibrating tongues that run on batteries. You just have to experiment with the ones that work for you. My personal favorites are vibrators and Ben Wa Balls. For those who don't know, Ben Wa Balls are small Chinese balls you place inside the vagina and hold in place while you go on with your daily activities. If you think women don't use them, WRONG! I had one woman tell me that she puts some in, puts on a pair of high heels and walks through malls to make herself feel sexy. I had another one tell me that she jogs with them inside of her. You go gurl! The balls can be purchased at various places, including flea markets. That's where I picked up my last pair. :-)

Keeping in line with this month's theme, I am going to finish up with a story I wrote more than a year ago called Blind Date. Hope you enjoy.

Blind Date
By Zane
From The Sex Chronicles
Copyright@1998
All Rights Reserved

The whole idea was strange right from the onset but I told myself once I hit thirty, I was going to take that sexual prime theory to heart and let go of all my inhibitions. So when my friend Tamlyn told me about this guy she knew who was into all kinds of kinky eroticism, I asked her to hook me up and she did.

His name was Xander and he called me the same night Tamlyn gave him my digits. He was all about the nana and couldn't wait to fuck me, sight unseen. I asked him did he get freaky with strangers often and his only reply was asking when his tongue could touch mine. Tamlyn told me he was fine and all. She even described him to me and he sounded delicious so when he related his fantasy over the phone he wanted me to help him out with, I told him I was down. Besides, his voice alone had my pussy feenin. 

The sexual prime theory must be true because the day after I turned thirty, my pussy gained a mind of its own. I was daydreaming about dick all the time, masturbating every dayum day and began asking myself one question: If I can't wake up to a bagel with cream cheese and a stiff dick, why wake up at all?
I arranged to meet Xander at a hotel, of his choice, the very next day during my lunch hour and it was to be a quickie. Since I was still a bit hesitant, I figured meeting him on my lunch hour was the safest bet since I could always use the excuse of having to get back to work as an easy out.

When I arrived at the cozy downtown hotel a few blocks from my office, I saw no one who fit his description in sight. A male desk clerk asked me was my name Jocelyn and I told him it was. He gave me a room key, informing me that my 'husband' asked for me to meet him in the room upstairs.

Once I reached the room, he wasn't there either and I began to get a slight sense of fear in my heart. There was a bottle of chilled champagne and some flute glasses on the table with a dozen roses. There was also a blindfold on the table and a note. The note read : "Welcome! Drink some champagne and then blindfold yourself within the next five minutes so I can come in and no cheating!"
I wasn't surprised to see the blindfold because Xander and I had discussed it on the phone. However, I thought he planned to blindfold me after we met, not before. He really wanted to take the 'blind date' theory to an extreme. 

I drank some champagne which was nice and cold. Afterwards, I sat on the edge of the bed and put on the blindfold tightly so I couldn't see a thing. My knees were trembling because I had never come close to doing anything of that nature before. I figured, if nothing else, I would gain an interesting memory to hang onto in my old age when my fucking years are far behind me.

No sooner had I sat down on the bed when I heard footsteps approaching the room in the hallway. I could hear him whistling as he unlocked the door with the card key. When he entered the room, so did the sensuous aroma of his cologne. Then, I heard the familiar voice from the phone say, "Hello Jocelyn. What's up?" 
I gave the typical reply of the 90's. "Just chillin."

Xander said, "Cool," and I could feel the bed sink down some beside me as he sat down. He was so close to me, I could feel him breath on my cheek when he said, "Tamlyn was right. You are a very beautiful woman Jocelyn." 

I replied by saying, "Thanks but you have me at a disadvantage because, other than the description she gave me, I have no idea what you really look like. Can I take off the blindfold for a second?"
He came back quickly with a loud "NO!" Then, he lowered his voice again and said, "This is all part of my fantasy, having a woman make love to me who has never seen me before. Once we are done, I will make sure you see me. I promise! Is that cool?"
I started to take the blindfold off and tell him I was leaving but a part of me was enjoying the whole 'mystery man' scenario. I told him it was cool and he asked me to lie back on the bed, with my head on a pillow. I complied and heard him get up and start walking around.

The hotel was pretty quiet since it was early afternoon and most people hadn't even checked in for the night to come. I could hear the faint noise of horns blowing on the busy city street five floors below. Xander came back to the bed and turned on the small alarm clock radio on the nightstand beside the bed. I could hear him turning the tuning dial until he came upon a station playing soft music.

I decided I should make him aware of my time constriction once more. "Don't forget I have to be back at work by one so please tell me when it is getting close."

Xander said, "Don't worry! This won't take long!"

I wondered when he was going to get started doing whatever he was going to do and then I started wondering if he was a lousy fuck or something, a two-minute brother since he didn't seem worried about the time at all. While I lying there, letting all those thoughts flash through my mind, suddenly I smelled the essence of a rose.

He put the rose up to my nose and used it to trace a path down to my chin, then my neck and around my nipples. He told me to hold the rose and placed it in my left hand. I could feel him straddle over top of me and begin to unbutton my blouse. He pulled my breasts out of the cups of my bra and started rubbing my nipples around between his thumbs and forefingers.

Xander told me he wanted to see me naked and helped me get completely undressed. I was beginning to feel more comfortable and there was something about him which seemed familiar to me. A feeling that maybe I had known him in another life; it was very strange.

Once I was nude, I realized at least half my lunch hour must have expired by that time and was contemplating the fact that, if he didn't hurry up, there would be no fucking at all. So, once again, I told him we needed to hurry up. He told me to relax again and not to worry. Then, he asked me to turn over on my stomach.
He straddled himself over the back of my thighs and I could sense him reaching for something off the nightstand. A few seconds later, I felt something cold trickling down my back and recognized the sensation right away; it was some sort of lotion. Xander began to rub the lotion into my skin with the expertise of a masseuse. He started by digging his fingers gently into the small of my back and moving outward to the sides of my stomach and all the way up until he reached my shoulders. He gave me a wonderful shoulder massage, then proceeded to pour some more lotion but this time, onto my ass cheeks. He massaged my ass for me and moved down to my thighs. It felt so relaxing, I almost fell asleep. 
I could feel him get off me and sit down at the foot of the bed. He poured more lotion, massaged my calves and then gave me a foot massage which made me want to say, "I love you!"

Xander told me to turn over and I quickly replied, figuring it was time to get busy. Instead, he massaged the whole front of my body. He started from my feet and worked his way upwards to my hips and to my stomach. When he poured lotion in my belly button, it made me flinch and bite my bottom lip since I am ticklish. He massaged both my arms and then, once again, caressed my breasts with the added sensation of lotion the second time around. 
He asked me, "Are you enjoying yourself?" All I could manage to do was nod yes because I thought he would somehow disappear if I responded and the dream would end. He told me to spread my legs and I did.

With the most gentle hands I had ever felt, he reached inside my vagina with a single finger, pulled it back towards the lips of my pussy like a person motioning for someone to come there, and located the spongy area beneath my pelvic bone that most men live their entire lives and never find. He caressed my g-spot with such tenderness, I not only came but it literally squirted out of my pussy like cum squirts out of a man's dick.

Never before had that ever happened to me. I had heard of women squirting when they cum but I never, in a million years, imagined it would happen to me. I moaned so loud and my body trembled so much, I thought I might have a seizure. I was still recovering from what had just happened when Xander gave me one single kiss on my lips and said, "Don't move! I will be right back!"

I assumed he was going to the bathroom to get me a towel until I heard the door to the hotel room open and shut quickly. At that moment, I was utterly confused and didn't know whether to take the blindfold off and leave or wait for him to come back. I couldn't imagine a man setting up a midday meeting with a stranger in a hotel room just to give her a full body massage and see her cum. So, I figured he was coming back and I didn't give a shit about the time anymore. I would call the office and take the rest of the day off, if need be. I wanted to fuck the man so bad, more than I had ever wanted to be with a man before in my life.

My desires were shattered when the telephone in the room rang with a loud blare, startling me. I reached around for it on the nightstand but couldn't find it so, I ripped the blindfold off by the third ring and picked it up. It was the desk clerk informing me that my 'husband' had to leave and had left a written message for me at the front desk. 

I looked at the clock radio and saw it was ten minutes to one so, I hurriedly got dressed and caught the elevator down to the lobby. The clerk handed me the note, probably noticing my clothes were not as neatly put on as they were when he handed me the room key less than an hour earlier.

The note read: "Jocelyn, thank you for the lovely afternoon. I hope you enjoyed yourself because I sure did. A woman like you deserves to be treated like a queen every day of your life and, like I said, I promise you will see me. I just didn't tell you when it will happen but it will be sooner than you think."

The rest of the day at work, I was no good. I kept trying to reach Tamlyn at her office but her secretary kept saying she was in a meeting and I got the distinct feeling she was avoiding me. There was something strange about the whole thing. Why would a man do such a thing? Then again, why would I meet a stranger in a hotel room to fuck him?

I went out to happy hour with some friends from work that evening and, once I left the bar, I decided to swing by Tamlyn's house and see if she was home. When I got there, I saw her car but there was also another car in her driveway. I hesitated going to the door because I thought she might be getting her freak on with a new man but decided, since she and I had been friends since first grade, she would just have to forgive my ass if that was the case. I had to know what the hell was going on and I had to know how to get in touch with Xander because I had fallen hopelessly in love with a mystery man.

I knocked on her front door and heard a bunch of rambling around inside and voices talking low, as if in a panic. I was beginning to turn around and leave since I figured I was right about her getting freaky and didn't want to disturb them, when the door flung open. Tamlyn said, "Hey Sis!"

I told her I really needed to talk and she told me to come in. When I entered her living room, there was indeed a man there but it was her baby brother, Phillip, who I had not seen in about seven years since he joined the military. The last time I saw him he was eighteen, tall, lanky and looked like a nerd. The man standing before me in Tamlyn's living room was tall, dark, handsome, built like an Adonis and far from the nerd of the past. 

Even though he had changed drastically, I recognized him right away and rushed to give him a hug before he could say a word. He didn't need to say a word though since I knew the moment I hugged him; the scent of his cologne was a dead giveaway. His breath on my cheek was all too familiar and when he finally did speak, it was not in the wimpy voice of baby brother Phillip but the sexy, deep voice of Xander. All he said at first was, "I never told you my middle name, did I?"

By the time I turned around to confront Tamlyn, her ass was headed out the front door. When her car started up and pulled out the driveway a few seconds later, I was still standing there gawking at him. I was in a state of shock. No wonder he felt so familiar. No wonder I felt comfortable around him. He was the baby brother of my best friend in life and he had turned my ass out in the span of a lunch hour.

I sat down on the couch, he sat beside me and took my hand. "Look Jocelyn, whatever you do, don't blame Tamlyn. This is all my doing! I asked her to set me up with you because I have always been in love with you. Ever since I was about ten years old and first started thinking about girls in that way. You were older though and wouldn't have shit to do with me. The whole time I was away, no matter who I was with, all I could ever think about was you. Now that I am back in town to stay, I wanted the opportunity to show you I am a man now and I thought the hotel thing was the only way."

I just looked at him in disbelief and couldn't say shit. He continued, "If I had come to you and asked you out, you would have refused if for no other reason than who I am. It wouldn't have mattered if you were attracted to me now or that I have changed a lot because you still would have seen me as Little Phillip. I wanted you to know how much I feel for you, how much I desire you, how much I want to make you mine."

I can't possible explain what happened at that moment; the tears just started flowing. They were tears of joy though and, that night, Phillip and I made love for the first time. It was the single most meaningful experience of my life and, every day since then, Phillip has treated me like a queen.

Tamlyn and I are closer than ever. In fact, she will be the maid of honor in my wedding to Phillip next month. What started out as a quest to let go of my sexual inhibitions and test the sexual prime theory turned into the adventure of a lifetime. Instead of making a memory I can think about when I become an old lady whose fucking years are way behind her, Phillip and I have one hell of a story to tell our grandchildren on the porch one day. There is a hell of a lot to be said for "blind dates".

This concludes my August 1999 Newsletter. See you in September. 

Peace and Much Love,
Zane

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